feminista

It didn't last long. I need my blog.
I watched Hostel.
And like always, I'm all upset.
I don't know why I watch horror movies like that. Stupid slashers like Andre the Butcher are fine, but things that are realistic, and...remind me of things that happen to people in real life, they really bother me.
It's not that I sit here and think someone's going to come down Adam's stairs and torture me. I just think of all the people who actually have suffered. Suffered at the hands of men thinking they can buy anything they want, including human bodies.
I'm so frustrated right now.
I started ranting on Myspace, then I realized I hate myspace, espeically the blog.
Adam is asleep. I really miss my cat and my teddy bear. Adam is not good cuddling. Adam is not good comfort. Cat and teddy are.
I'm not going to watch The HIlls Have Eyes as much as I want to. I keep trying to convince myself it'll be worth the nuclear mutants, but rape and molestation are just too close to home for me. Why add that in? People are already scared of it. I walk at night and I think I'm going to get raped. I never fear getting eaten by mutants. That's the whole point of horror. It can't happen. It doesn't happen. Freddy doesn't exist.
Rape and torture do.
I'm so awake.
So so so awake.
I just want to go home.
Or upstairs.
I want someone awake to come over and keep me company.
Who's not Adam.
I make these stupid mistakes all the time.
You'd think I'd figure out eventually that it really bothers me and I shouldn't do it. But I don't.
Frustration.