felidae

There is no way to describe just how jaw-droppingly fantastic last Saturday was. I think a rough approximation would be a fantasy involving myself running through the planet on Pitch Black with Vin Deisel, only instead of aliens thered just be an enormous Angelina Jolie stomping after us through the rain bellowing, SNOO SNOO! Soyeah, it was good.

The Saturday in question involved myself, Nic, Nadine, Sui, Fanny and Akemi, amongst others, dancing our tits off (not literally, but we did knock over a few audience members when the spinning got particularly fierce). We were burlesquing at The Rigger, courtesy of Asha who didnt dance but who organised the evening and generously not only bought us food beforehand, but provided wine and sleepspace at her place afterwards.

Note: Asha and her man Wolf have the coolest house ever, and myself and the friend I brought down to witness the fun are convinced that in an alternate plane of reality Wolf is a barbarian and Asha an elf. In this plane of reality its still quite possible that should the world come to an end Wolf will grab one of the myriad swords off of his wall and go charging down the street in a loincloth, because hes THAT fucking cool.

Anyway, various things happened on the drive down to Stoke, including my thinking I was lost after having followed the directions to the letter, pulling into a side street, calling Asha and wailing despairingly at her down the phone, then realising the club I was aiming for was across the road. The duhs were well and truly on me. And they continued, because after we finished practicing at the dance studio and went for dinner I left the table at precisely the wrong moment, and upon my return with drinks found everyone had picked to do any spot other than first or last. I figured I was officially the least rehearsed person present (including both my friend and Wolf) so offered to go on first, figuring that if I was appalling Id be able to drown my sorrows for the rest of the night.

Happily it all turned out okay, and I got a tonne of positive feedback from both my actual act and the following random podium and pole dances. It was marginally disconcerting though when halfway through I realised most of the front row consisted of people brandishing mobile phones and videoing me. Damn them and their off-putting ways. Though it would be hard to pick a favourite act from the rest of the girls I think if pushed Id have to choose the Pink (Aerosmith) routine, just because it was so very, very, classically burlesque. The audience (of which by this point I was a part) were almost more taken up with the routine than the fact that an extremely beautiful person was up on stage being rather filthy in a very cool way.

When you can have nights out like that you really dont need much else. Eh, apart from a bikini wax beforehand:



And just because it's the best pic of the night I've seen yet - the ladies in question (with yours truly appearing on the far left clutching her boob):



Fun Felidae Fact: After having told my personal trainer (who I have a crush on just because hes about four times as big as me) about the shenanigans and completed my rather back-breaking session, he decided that to help me in my July audition for the European Suicidegirls Troupe, hes going to bend me into a pretzel at the end of every lesson. Oh to have him get my legs round the back of my neck under other circumstances