fefedinosaur

ok so i guess for my first entry on here im going to put up something thats made me happy...


i never realized how much i could mean to someone till just today. i talk to a dear friend of mine... pretty much my best friend besides nadia and ginny. i never considered myself special in anyway at all. but while talking to my friend... i dunno... right now im completely enthralled... ive never smiled like this in my life. i love him dearly and hes such an amazing person. im the luckiest to have such a friend.



heres the convo...
(out of respect for him im not going to say his name, or let any fucks have his screename)



Him: i'm pretty hostile and unwelcoming towards most people.
Me: well yeah cause your tied down...
Me: really?
Me: you never were towards me
Him: i know
Him: but now
Him: i don't like talking to random, stupid, girls.
Me: ahh ok
Me: and im guessing im not a random stupid girl
Him: of course you're not
Him: you're felicia
Him:
Me: hehe
Me: im nothing special
Him: i'm not either
Him: maybe that's the beauty of it all
Me: well what makes me different from other random stupid girls
Him: you're smart, and clever, and compassionate
Him: you can hold a conversation
Him: you like gore like me
Him: and art
Him: and you're funny
Him: there's something in your eyes and maybe even in mine that most people don't have. it's just a glint or a twinkle, but it's something amazing and infinite.
Me: whoa.....
Me: really?
Me: no one has ever said anything like that to me ever
Me: i never knew you looked at me in that way
Me: well not in that way... but you know what im saying... i think
Him: just smile
Him: sometimes
Him: often times
Him: words aren't needed
Him: just a look
Me: yeah... trust me im massively smiling right now
Me: thank you though. your right words werent needed.... but no ones ever said anything like that to me. i never feel like i mean anything to anyone... you just made me feel real and made me feel like i matter to atleast one person
Him: just smile
Him: no explanation
Me: i am
Him: no thank you
Him: just smile
Him: because that's what i'm doing
Me: me too
Me: big time
Me: lol
Me: can i blush too or just smile? cause i must say theres a hint of pink in my cheeks





that seriously made me a little teary eyed. after all this time being selfish and wanting someone to care and thinking that no one gave a shit about me at all he says these things to me that show that i atleast matter to one person. i just wish that there was some way i could show him what he means to me. not just tell him.... cause 1) hes right words arent needed... and 2) it means more to show it then say it. hopefully next time i see him i can show him what he means. i dont know how... but i will try.






fuck you smut