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feeleasy

Russian Federation

Member Since 2005

Followers 267 Following 425

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Wednesday May 23, 2007

May 23, 2007
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I feel like I want to write here again.
Funny, but every time I'm depressed I write blogs in english.
I've been havin a probably typical teenage (yes, i consider myself teenage) issues. You know, thoughts about life and death and so on... the worth case ever.
It's just that... I have pretty much everything. I quit my university and now I'm trying to get in a new one, which I choose, which I like, not the one my family made me go to.
I have a loving and supportive boyfriend. We've known each other since our 1st year at school (since we were 7 years old, my god!) and we recently celebrated our 6 months together. But it still feels like we've been together forever, in a good way. We both try not to be selfish (his mother is a... psycologist? terepist? not sure about the correct word), we understand each other perfictly... lately there's been some tiny problems but that's only because he's having exams, sleeps for like 1 hour a day, i study.. and etc. It's ok in general.
I look the way I want to now. I stopped caring about my weight and I feel I'm perfect even wih extra kilos on my belly.
I have great interesting friends.
I have everything I ever wanted.. I don't feel like I have a goal in life anymore..
Everything seems worthless now because I'll die anyway. It's a shame to say that, but I don't want to die. I enjoy my life so much... I just can't believe it might end someday.
I know that for those who have problems in life these words probably sound very stupid... She has everything andshe complains, what a bitch!
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy life. I'm incredibly thankfull that I have it.
It's probably because I'm so lonely at home... I go to bed and I feel so alone and forgotten... I have nightmares, I can't study... stuff like that.
I sure hope it's just a matter of time... I'll be strong, I'll be fine.
After all, I can always go to Twlly's blog and get a load of positive energy, she's so inspiring. =)

Anyways, he are a few pics so you won't forget how I look.

p.s. sorry if i made many mistakes, i had no language practice for a looong time...

Warning! lots of pics!!

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

















love became the most important thing in my life. love is the meaning of life for me and when we're not together I don't really feel alive...



my sweet man.




i heart men in kilt ^-^ i bought him one on my trip to England.
=)











i even learned how to cook! i used to think cooking was only for dumb housewifes, but when i figured out that my man cooks like a god i decided to try it myself. it rocks! and it's so tasty!









I <3 Jack






Tank Girl inspired.





vintage inspired.



I llama my love gave me for march 8th (women's dai in Russia, chicks get presents!)) ^-^





getting this off my chest kinda made me feel a little bit better.
thank you for watching.

sydgirl:
life just some times feels to much even if there is nothing wrong, you can still feel as if every thing is wrong. and one day you will wake up and you will not feel lke that any more and the next every thing is crashing in on tolp of you.

it will past just give it time wink
May 23, 2007
autumnfade:
those are real good photos, perhaps you will be a SG model
My X g.f. just got back from Moscow
good luck on your cooking wink
May 27, 2007

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