febee

so its my first real vacation day
i need to call work to see if my offer letter showed up

i am so pumped to be moving back soon!!!

and i am going to get visitors!!!!! yeah ROCK!

one week till i actually get what resembles a life back. I am gonna start working out again, cause not working out is sneaking up and doing some damage. cant have that. I think i am gonna watch jackass. I really dont like not doing anything. its mighty boring. i guess i could start packing. might as well.

i saw a necklace that i wanted...
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i like answers to questions

la la la
tommorow is my last day at work
i leave next friday
i am so excited

i think i need to curl up and pretend the world doesnt exist anymore. at least for a few hours. I just have a whirlwind in my head. distant confused sad scared. I think its begining to equall emotional breakdown. I am trying hard to fight it but maybe it needs to come along and do its business then get up and leave. i am...
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i really need to get some food. I just dont care enough to go and get it.

i am feeling so so lonely

burlapboxer: jeez, did you think that i was friends with you because you were a "nice person"?

he called this morning from atlanta
will call again in baltimore
then to germany
than to the sandpit

and i just want to get in my car and drive north

Right know i am going to pretend. I am going to pretend that i am not going to cry myself to sleep. pretend that i dont love him. i am going to pretend that i dont feel like this. playing pretend had never been so hard. its never hurt so much. all i want to hear is that he cares. I want him to say...
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its about time i stop listening to my heart. It only makes me down. I could just burst out crying right now. and its over something very little. but unfourtanly peoples actions speak louder than their words. I guess thats what it is. maybe i am just setting myself up to get hurt, to get angry again.
Im just gonna try to let it go....
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