Ha, what a tough old lady.
So, she passes out today (she does this, it's not new) but this time, it's taking much much longer for her to regain conciousness. {My grandmother, if you're interested in what I'm talking about please read last post} After about an hour and a half she wakes up, very out of it. "Goodbye," she says "I'm going to heaven, tell everyone I love them, goodbye." After that she passes right out again. Everyone in the room chokes up a little, my mother, aunt and sister start crying. The men (as they usually do) try to keep composure, but it's slipping. We're all in pretty bad shape, except for gramma. Despite being unconcious, she's breathing perfect and all her vitals are doing great!
Her neighbors come to visit while she's passed out and my uncle just keeps talking to gramma (he's been talking to her the entire time). During this time my mother starts to feel "funny", her blood pressure is way, way up. We call her doctor (after getting it checked) to see if she can take another pill today. We tell him what the reading was and he says yes. Problem is, the pills are at home. We call my brother to pick them up on the way and tell her to sit down.
After some time mom takes her pill and is ok, then after more time gramma wakes up. A little groggy at first but then just, wakes up, and she's gramma again. The feisty old lady we all know and love. My uncle is there talking to her and asked if she had any dreams. She says yes, that she saw heaven, and it was beautiful. But while she was there she had a feeling that someone was trying to hurt Ginny (my mother who had the blood pressure thing), and got upset. She tells my uncle not to tell this to my mother, who is sitting right across from gramma. My aunt goes over to talk to gramma and my uncle immediately tells my mother what gramma said. Right afterwards we all hear gramma loud and clear (she told my aunt what she dreamt as well) say "And keep Nicky's (my uncle) big mouth shut, he forgets sometimes." Yup, that's gramma all right.
What that said to us, gramma having the feeling that my mother was being hurt somehow, was that she heard every-damn-thing that went on in that room while she was out. Every word, and processed and remembered it as well. That's pretty amazing to me, this lady's totally at peace with dying, she knows it's happening, yet she's still fighting so damn hard.
Which I'm not too sure is a good thing. Maybe it's me being selfish or horrible but I just kind of wish she'd go to sleep. She wants to go to sleep, that's what she says anyways, she wants to see her husband and siblings again, and the longer everything drags on the more pain she will be in. No one wants her to be in pain. If this is a horrible way of thinking, I'm sorry, but I just want her to rest.
Sorry this is all I've been writing about, and sorry for dragging it into silliness too, but it helps, even if no one listens. Plus I cancelled my hocky game this week, and the Flyers suck, so no conversation there.
I know most everyone has dealt with the deaths of friends and loved ones before, and I'm no exception. But this is the first time that I'm actually watching it happen. It's fucking tough for me, sorry.
Thank you to anyone who read this through.
-Bob
So, she passes out today (she does this, it's not new) but this time, it's taking much much longer for her to regain conciousness. {My grandmother, if you're interested in what I'm talking about please read last post} After about an hour and a half she wakes up, very out of it. "Goodbye," she says "I'm going to heaven, tell everyone I love them, goodbye." After that she passes right out again. Everyone in the room chokes up a little, my mother, aunt and sister start crying. The men (as they usually do) try to keep composure, but it's slipping. We're all in pretty bad shape, except for gramma. Despite being unconcious, she's breathing perfect and all her vitals are doing great!
Her neighbors come to visit while she's passed out and my uncle just keeps talking to gramma (he's been talking to her the entire time). During this time my mother starts to feel "funny", her blood pressure is way, way up. We call her doctor (after getting it checked) to see if she can take another pill today. We tell him what the reading was and he says yes. Problem is, the pills are at home. We call my brother to pick them up on the way and tell her to sit down.
After some time mom takes her pill and is ok, then after more time gramma wakes up. A little groggy at first but then just, wakes up, and she's gramma again. The feisty old lady we all know and love. My uncle is there talking to her and asked if she had any dreams. She says yes, that she saw heaven, and it was beautiful. But while she was there she had a feeling that someone was trying to hurt Ginny (my mother who had the blood pressure thing), and got upset. She tells my uncle not to tell this to my mother, who is sitting right across from gramma. My aunt goes over to talk to gramma and my uncle immediately tells my mother what gramma said. Right afterwards we all hear gramma loud and clear (she told my aunt what she dreamt as well) say "And keep Nicky's (my uncle) big mouth shut, he forgets sometimes." Yup, that's gramma all right.
What that said to us, gramma having the feeling that my mother was being hurt somehow, was that she heard every-damn-thing that went on in that room while she was out. Every word, and processed and remembered it as well. That's pretty amazing to me, this lady's totally at peace with dying, she knows it's happening, yet she's still fighting so damn hard.
Which I'm not too sure is a good thing. Maybe it's me being selfish or horrible but I just kind of wish she'd go to sleep. She wants to go to sleep, that's what she says anyways, she wants to see her husband and siblings again, and the longer everything drags on the more pain she will be in. No one wants her to be in pain. If this is a horrible way of thinking, I'm sorry, but I just want her to rest.
Sorry this is all I've been writing about, and sorry for dragging it into silliness too, but it helps, even if no one listens. Plus I cancelled my hocky game this week, and the Flyers suck, so no conversation there.
I know most everyone has dealt with the deaths of friends and loved ones before, and I'm no exception. But this is the first time that I'm actually watching it happen. It's fucking tough for me, sorry.
Thank you to anyone who read this through.
-Bob
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
shaggyvixe:
So cool meeting you man
brightredscream:
You too my dear boy 