faye

I hate tossy turny almost sleepless nights where you fall in and out of dreams about exactly what is going on in your life at that moment. I've been up since 6am trying to make sense of things. Worried, a little scared...I never feel as though I make good decisions so I'm constantly second guessing myself lately.

In so many ways I've made up my mind, I've been thinking one thought since leaving work yesterday.

It's not working out, no one ever works out at this company, I know how I feel being there, I know how my boss feels about me and what he says about me when I'm not in the room. I'm over constantly worrying about my job when I know I'm an awesome employee and person. I think I'm finally ready to just leave it as "we don't work well together."

Because I know I'm done with days like yesterday. I know I'm over having too big a work load, never having been trained, and things constantly changes so that it seems I never do anything right. I'm also done having to deal with a mad man every single day and I'm done trying to make even a little sense of his messy life, short term projects, scattered lifestyle, horrible business practices and violent temper.

I just wish at this point that I could honestly say that I'll be ok. I know I'm cool to the end of the month but after that...ugh.

I'm hoping that I can walk in today, have a meeting and have him be in a better mood so that we can just leave on a common ground without any yelling or dramatics because that seems to be the way he does things best.

I feel sorry for whoever has to fill my shoes because I know he doesn't realize how much work I actually do on a daily basis. How many issues I smooth over for him.

Well....here it goes. Wish me luck.

GIVE ME/GET ME A JOB!!!!