I hate nights when you have so much inside you, so much to say...yet you're so quiet. Things never get said. I think I'm going to take up talking to myself. Not that I already don't at some points but you know in a for real way.
I was thinking this morning about how I've become something far from what I was but how I still sometimes define myself in old ways to people, when those aren't true anymore. I don't know why I do it, maybe it's because I haven't completely realized what I've become?
I used to be really strong, very quiet, an insanely hard worker, a loner, someone who kept everything inside. Now...I'm not really these things anymore. I'm an attention whore or at least I feel like one someones. I think I look for things and attention in completely the wrong places. Maybe I need to work on that.
Maybe what I need to do is start focusing on making myself more like what I was instead of what I am.
Some days I want to give up on everyone, not face the wold and hide out forever in blanket forts. While others I have his pure need for human contact, for attention, for love. I'm really kind of hoping that all this is only there because my boyfriend doesn't live near me instead of me actually be this needy.
........FUCK............
~ night
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
sheena:
thank you for your comment on my new hopefuls set!
siv:
i know how you feel. ironically sometimes it takes something like being really sick (me at the moment) to shed that/actually take some time to step back and examine oneself. 
