fatespawn

I had a long conversation with Jonathon at Europa's today that made me realize that while I'm generally a fairly sociable and charming guy, there are things that I'm atrocious at. The main one being meeting people initially. Many of you already know this, especially those of you who I met at the Dawning. How long did I take between coming to the Dawning and actually saying hi or having a conversation? For some of you that would be measured in months, if not years. And it happens to me all the time. But until now it has never really bothered me, because eventually I get around to meeting people. But such is not the case because I'm moving to England in a couple of months. So every time that I <i>could</i> work on starting up a friendship with someone and don't, that's time that I've lost, and that's no good. I realized this at Europa's because Klara, the manager, is definitely one of those people. We've had a couple talks about various things and such, but I don't really know her. And it would be cool to, but I don't think I ever will. Another person bothering me in such a way is Ciara, who I met at Advanced Cognition study groups and who seemed pretty interesting. So I was talking to Jonathon about this and I've realized that the reason is because people <i>foolishly</i> do not have an intuitive knowledge that I'm engaged and that bothers me. because when I'm getting to know a guy I can say things like, "Hey, what are you doing after class? Want to head over to Europa's?" And we head over to Europa's. And ta-da, a friendship is formed. But such a thing does not happen with members of the opposite sex. Because you don't want to just omit the whole "in a relationship" thing and seem uber-shifty. but neither do you want to say, "Hey, I'm engaged. Would you like to get lunch in a purely platonic fashion?" It just seems akward. Besides, pointing out unavailability at such an initial time always makes me feel like I'd be saying, "Hey, it's apparent to me that if we were to hang out, you'd probably be very, very attracted to me. In fact, you'd probably want a relationship with me. Well tough luck! I'm taken so you can't. But you're still an acceptable sort of person so...perhaps friendship?" I know, I'm neurotic, but this actually bothers me. So I guess in conclusion my main point is that it's retarded that girls have engagement rings and guys don't. That being said, if I see you a lot, but don't really know you, you should come say hi to me. Before I go to England.