fateofone

itsa been a busy week... same old same old other then i think i have had some self realization... you know that excitment and euphoria you feel when you meet somone new and very attractive ... i dont seem to feel that anymore... is something broken in me... is it just the wrong person... maybe i dont know them well enuff... i just dont know...even ppl i thought i would love all my life i find i question... can you finally be let down enuff by some ppl that you just dont open your heart to them anymore... these thoughts have been in my head for awhile...i dated alot of girls last year and no one struck in me what others have in the past... this is sad i think...i dont know.. do i just need a break from all the ppl in my life and get my head clear... could i just walk away like that... maybe i have met the right woman for me... maybe i never gave her the chance i shoud have... maybe i was too stupid crazy at the time...but why do they feel for me what i dont seem to feel for them... or i feel for them what they dont for me... i lived my own nightmare in this regard.. i know it sux...it hurts... but i cant be with somone that cannot make me feel this euphoria... this desire and devotion to be with that person... no one makes me feel this... no one... not anymore... when did i get this thoughtfull or this screwed up... is there somone left that can make me feel this.. somone i can trust... there is few of those left for sure... no one is honest anymore...did i let my pass screw up what could have been my future... maybe...probably...yes...this is the crossroads... this is where i stand... in what direction do i journey...is that euphoria feeling in one direction or another... or does it simply no longer matter... i dont know that either... time to take the first step ...