Well, I'm starting to think that I should pop a tranquilizer dart in my wife MausFrau's ass, a la Jim from Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom, and release her into a double-entendre-free preserve for her own good. She recently had the following exchange with an old college pal and computer geek, IS_G:

MausFrau: Hi, G. How's it going?

IS_G: Good. How was the ACRL conference up in Minneapolis? A bunch of librarians out on the town: I bet the Twin Cities were rockin'.

MausFrau: It was pretty good. ACRL's always more interesting than ALA. Ooooh! Plus, I won a prize for something or other...one of those "thumb" drives.

IS_G: That's a pretty cool prize...suitably geeky. How much memory does it have?

MausFrau: Oh, I don't know. I haven't tried it out yet. Do you think if I just stick it in, it'll tell me how big it is?

{insert sizeable pause in the exchange}

IS_G: Are you trying to feed me straight lines here?

MausFrau: What?



I just don't understand it: it's not like all of the other men in her life were churchy goody two-shoes; she has a younger brother who eventually became a frat boy; she has a nephew who thought "poo-poo platter" was the height of comedy for nearly two years; etc. How does she not see 'em comin'?