I had yet another adventure in the bathroom at work today.
School hasn't started up yet, the students haven't returned, and so the library has been nearly deserted this week. As a result, I've been a little more carefree and relaxed at work. Just before lunch, I headed into the men's room, humming "Lullaby of Birdland" to myself. There didn't appear to be anyone else in the bathroom, large institutional bathrooms are excellent for the anti-harmonics of my excruciatingly off-key singing, so, as I assumed the appropriate position in the stall, I let loose in more ways than one:
Lullaby of birdland, that's what aaaayeee
always hear when you siiiiiigh
Never in my woodland
Could there be words to reveal
In a phrase how i feeeeel
Since I was singing the Mel Torme cover of the song, I broke into some cool scat singing at the end, and, as I am I, I may have thrown in a few grunts, "Oh my gawds", "Yowzas", and such in there and perhaps a bit of semi-hysterical laughter as well.
After I'd finished in the stall, I popped up to the sinks to wash up, still singing and humming, and I started improvising some additional lyrics for the tune:
You're a fat bastard, Daaaave,
and a stinky one, toooo,
but the big gals love yaaaaa,
'cause ya smell like steeeewww
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw, reflected in the mirror, one of the other stall door's locks slowly turn. Then the door slowly opened, and a dark eye appeared in the very slight gap between the stall and the door. The gaze of the eye met mine and held it for a long moment, and the door slowly closed again. Then the lock turned, and whoever was in the stall shook the door a bit to test the lock's hold.
Honestly, I don't know why I even go in there anymore. Maybe I should just start trying to hold it until I get home.
Ahem
And there's a weepy old willooow -
He really knows how to cryyyy!
That's how I'd cry on my pillooow
If you should tell me farewell and good-bye.
Lullaby of birdland - whisper low,
Kiss me sweet, and then we'll go
Flyin' high off in birdland,
High in the sky up abuuuuve,
just because we're in luuuuve.
School hasn't started up yet, the students haven't returned, and so the library has been nearly deserted this week. As a result, I've been a little more carefree and relaxed at work. Just before lunch, I headed into the men's room, humming "Lullaby of Birdland" to myself. There didn't appear to be anyone else in the bathroom, large institutional bathrooms are excellent for the anti-harmonics of my excruciatingly off-key singing, so, as I assumed the appropriate position in the stall, I let loose in more ways than one:
Lullaby of birdland, that's what aaaayeee
always hear when you siiiiiigh
Never in my woodland
Could there be words to reveal
In a phrase how i feeeeel
Since I was singing the Mel Torme cover of the song, I broke into some cool scat singing at the end, and, as I am I, I may have thrown in a few grunts, "Oh my gawds", "Yowzas", and such in there and perhaps a bit of semi-hysterical laughter as well.
After I'd finished in the stall, I popped up to the sinks to wash up, still singing and humming, and I started improvising some additional lyrics for the tune:
You're a fat bastard, Daaaave,
and a stinky one, toooo,
but the big gals love yaaaaa,
'cause ya smell like steeeewww
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw, reflected in the mirror, one of the other stall door's locks slowly turn. Then the door slowly opened, and a dark eye appeared in the very slight gap between the stall and the door. The gaze of the eye met mine and held it for a long moment, and the door slowly closed again. Then the lock turned, and whoever was in the stall shook the door a bit to test the lock's hold.
Honestly, I don't know why I even go in there anymore. Maybe I should just start trying to hold it until I get home.
Ahem
And there's a weepy old willooow -
He really knows how to cryyyy!
That's how I'd cry on my pillooow
If you should tell me farewell and good-bye.
Lullaby of birdland - whisper low,
Kiss me sweet, and then we'll go
Flyin' high off in birdland,
High in the sky up abuuuuve,
just because we're in luuuuve.
VIEW 25 of 30 COMMENTS
beatrice:
what can i say, i was happy that day. you should see my tonsils.
sicily:
i refuse to buy ugle boots that i'll only wear 3 days of my life. i'd rather pay a dumb whore to give me a piggyback ride 