fatdavid8

Damn it! What have you got to do nowadays to convince people you're unreliable?

For several years, I've been a member of a professional group whose initialism, if treated as an acronym, would be pronounced "anus" (I shit you not -- of course, the senior members only ever pronounce the initials because they're sticks in the mud, if you know what I mean), and for the past four years I've served two terms on its membership committee. I didn't particularly want to serve, but I got roped into it. In order to discourage Anus from inviting me to serve again, I made a special point of behaving badly at meetings.

For example, at one meeting that I attended, the Anus membership committee was supposed to come up with catchy slogans that would encourage people to join. After my suggestion that we re-name the group after other, more popular body parts was shot down, I slipped several possible slogans into the discussion, such as:

"Anus: yeah, we're winkin' at you!"

"Anus: where things are really moving!"

"We're always looking for new members to delve into the Anus!"

"Other committee's members too big? Try slipping into a little Anus!"

{For the softball team}: "Team Anus! You may beat us once, but you'll never lick us twice!"

Today, I got invited to serve on another Anus committee. What a bunch of assholes!