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fatdavid8

Cook Islands

Member Since 2004

Followers 16 Following 35

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Thursday Jul 22, 2004

Jul 22, 2004
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AAAAAAAAAAARGH!

I was at work today and on my way to lunch when this fellow I work with stopped me and asked my opinion of a write-up he'd done for this professional group we both belong to. He had several wordings in mind for various parts of it and whatnot and wanted my opinion of their effectiveness in attracting new members.

Of course, no one ever reads the write-ups, and the people who are going to join the stupid group are going to join it regardless of his write-up and the people who aren't aren't because the group's not professionally relevant to them.

Next thing you know, we've got a small crowd of members mulling over his write-up and suggesting variations in wording and additional items to include.

Deus Irae! I felt like stabbing myself in the eye through my ear!

I've never been a proponent of forcing people to wear uniforms, but maybe we should go back to having bureaucrats and company men wear the grey flannel suit so that they could be spotted and avoided more easily.

And maybe social reactionaries could be forced to dress up, too: white, Boss Hog/televangelist suits for the men and puritan-style dresses with bonnets for the women.

Men who have a puerile understanding of the chivalric tradition and who think of themselves as women's knight-protectors could be forced to wear dorky tunics with fringe borders and to skip everywhere they go.

I don't know that this would allow me to avoid everyone that I want to avoid in life, but it'd be a start.

Of course, women who just looooove Jane Austen and/or the Bronte sisters, have too many cats, and have unrealistically inflated ideas of what their romantic lives ought to be like should be forced to wear aluminum foil Wicked Witch of the West hats at all times regardless of whether any of the rest of the above is ever implemented.

Really, just step away from the dating manual and fail to reproduce, for all our sakes.

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