I was sitting on the couch this evening with my wife, M.F., and one of our cats, Fishfork, and fiddling with M.F.'s laptop while they watched a movie. I don't normally take much interest in the DSM IV, but I happened to take this Personality Disorder Test and actually thought most of my results were pretty accurate. However, I thought the result for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder seemed kind of low for me. My results were:
Personality Disorder Test Results
................................................ me, avg.
Paranoid ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 74% 49%
Schizoid |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82% 53%
Schizotypal ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 70% 53%
Antisocial |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 34% 47%
Borderline ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 50% 47%
Histrionic ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 38% 43%
Narcissistic |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 34% 41%
Avoidant ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 62% 39%
Dependent ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 34% 37%
Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||| 42% 40%
"I wonder why that's so low," I mused aloud. "I've got some . . . ticks, and I have that problem with worrying irregularities on my skin, you know, like Birdcup (our other cat) has that problem where she tries to bite off all of the buttons from your clothes or tries to bite the nipples off your boobins."
"Well," opined the MausFrau, "She's just a cat . . . a very sweet but very weird cat . . . , and you're obviously not obsessive compulsive, else you'd have scored higher."
"Or the Obsessive Compulsives gamed the test," added Fishfork. "Can you change it to Animal Planet? There might be tigers on."
"What do you mean 'gamed'?" I asked.
"Well, the OCDs probably took the test several times, like they've got a ritualized number of times they have to do things," she answered, "so they probably took the test four or five times each and skewed the OCD results."
"Wow! That's pretty smart, cat. You might be right. I probably am OCD, but those other guys skewed the scores!"
Birdcup sauntered in just then and asked, "When you were taking the test, did you feel this compulsion to take it over and over just to be sure?"
"No."
"Then you're not OCD, jackass" the cats chorused, "Now change the channel to Animal Planet!"
"Yeah," added M.F., "I hear there might be tigers on!"
____________________________________________
02/26 addition:
Yes, yes, yes...it's my birthday. Thanks for stopping by and all, but I hope you'll forgive me for not being particularly excited about being old as well as fat. As my in-laws recently remarked, "Birthdays are like boogers...the more you have, the harder it is to breathe."
Personality Disorder Test Results
................................................ me, avg.
Paranoid ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 74% 49%
Schizoid |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82% 53%
Schizotypal ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 70% 53%
Antisocial |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 34% 47%
Borderline ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 50% 47%
Histrionic ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 38% 43%
Narcissistic |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 34% 41%
Avoidant ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 62% 39%
Dependent ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 34% 37%
Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||| 42% 40%
"I wonder why that's so low," I mused aloud. "I've got some . . . ticks, and I have that problem with worrying irregularities on my skin, you know, like Birdcup (our other cat) has that problem where she tries to bite off all of the buttons from your clothes or tries to bite the nipples off your boobins."
"Well," opined the MausFrau, "She's just a cat . . . a very sweet but very weird cat . . . , and you're obviously not obsessive compulsive, else you'd have scored higher."
"Or the Obsessive Compulsives gamed the test," added Fishfork. "Can you change it to Animal Planet? There might be tigers on."
"What do you mean 'gamed'?" I asked.
"Well, the OCDs probably took the test several times, like they've got a ritualized number of times they have to do things," she answered, "so they probably took the test four or five times each and skewed the OCD results."
"Wow! That's pretty smart, cat. You might be right. I probably am OCD, but those other guys skewed the scores!"
Birdcup sauntered in just then and asked, "When you were taking the test, did you feel this compulsion to take it over and over just to be sure?"
"No."
"Then you're not OCD, jackass" the cats chorused, "Now change the channel to Animal Planet!"
"Yeah," added M.F., "I hear there might be tigers on!"
____________________________________________
02/26 addition:
Yes, yes, yes...it's my birthday. Thanks for stopping by and all, but I hope you'll forgive me for not being particularly excited about being old as well as fat. As my in-laws recently remarked, "Birthdays are like boogers...the more you have, the harder it is to breathe."
VIEW 27 of 27 COMMENTS
anywho, i changed the form of the earl grey poem into i prose poem because i didn't really like any of the line breaks. the class really liked it (form and all) as did my prof. (the images and such but not the form) and on a paper she returned she said she thinks i have real promise as a writer, that she likes my "narrative voice" and style, and that she thinks i should persue a writing career...
did i ever mention that my depression distorts my sense of reality? because it does. sometimes it does a lot.
anywho, here's my score for that test. i think the results are pretty accurate....
Paranoid |||||||||||||||||| 74% 49%
Schizoid |||||||||||||||| 70% 53%
Schizotypal |||||||||||||||| 70% 53%
Antisocial |||||||||| 38% 47%
Borderline |||||||||||||||||||| 82% 47%
Histrionic |||||| 26% 43%
Narcissistic |||||||||| 34% 41%
Avoidant |||||||||||| 46% 39%
Dependent |||||| 26% 37%
Obsessive-Compulsive |||| 14% 40%