fat_tastic

I, like many children, was forced to ride a big yellow bus to school for many years, and so, like many children, I was hopelessly embarrassed. One instance I recall vividly took place in my fourth year of elementary school. The day was over and I was heading home aboard my assigned bus, mindlessly doodling on my totally tricked out "Trapper Keeper" binder, when out of the corner of my eye I spotted a red convertible filled with hot chicks pull up along side us. I was quickly able to catch the eye of one babe whom then pointed me out to the rest of the smokin' babes. The five of them were smiling and giggling (as hot chicks often do) and motioning to me to roll down my window. Even though I was 9 yrs. old at the time, I thought I had a pretty good chance of making out with these chicks. Like a mad man I rifled through my back pack looking for my green dinosaur comb, wHich I found and ran through my hair once or twice so that it was nicely parted to one side. With a big smile I dropped the window and stuck my head out, but before I could introduce myself, one of the girls yelled out " Nice ride HOMO!" then the others joined in,"Yeah, what are you, gay?", "I used to ride a bus like that...until my mom jot a job!", "Look at you sitting there like a jerk...I HATE you!". I was shocked, but instead of crying, I did the next best thing. I jumped up onto the seat, bent over and dropped my pants. They didn't seem to be affected by my bare bottom, but rather the foul smelling salvo released into their possession. The offending fecal matter was batted around like a hot potato until the driver lost control of the car and crashed into a ditch...(this story is getting boring so I will just tell you how it ends)... I hired a lonesome hobo by the name of "Brown-tooth Biggles" to wheel me to school in a shopping cart for the remainder of the year. B.T. Biggles and I got along real nice. He would let me play with his glass eye and he even showed me how to kill a cat with just my feet...etc.

i hate myself.