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fat_tastic

seattle.

Member Since 2005

Followers 1 Following 1

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Tuesday Sep 06, 2005

Sep 6, 2005
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Even though i've never played, i believe i could be a world champion ping pong player within two years. I also believe we could alleviate serial murders in this country by simply replacing the murderers shoes with faux shoes made entirely of mud and straw. Now, when the murderer arrives at his victims front door, the victim will cleverly ask the murderer to "please wipe their feet" before entering the home. The killer will be stuck there for hours trying in vain to remove all the dirt from his mud shoes, giving the victim more than enough time to dial the local authorities.

I went to the zoo this weekend. At the Gorilla exhibit there was an old silver back just sitting by himself in the corner, all alone, with no one to play with. I felt so sad watching him, then I felt even worse knowing how humiliated that poor old gorilla was about to feel after I pegged him in the face with the remaining half of my ice cream sandwich.

I had an exhibition wrestling match for the boys down at the saw mill today. My professional record is now a dismal 0-6 after another disappointing loss. My opponent was "Bermis the Brute", just an old washing machine someone had picked up from a scrap yard. Reflecting back on it now, I probably should have worn pants, and as always its important to lift heavy objects with your legs. I think I could have won the fight had I not been blinded by a shot of warm pee to the eyes, but again that was my own fault for not wearing pants...etc.

sorry for wasting your time.

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