fat_tastic

Sometimes when I get sad, I dress up as a loaf of bread and sit in the park, feeding old people to the ducks. I think most people... like you and I, appreciate the kindness of strangers and we are not at all reluctant to express our gratitude. For instance, say you are waiting at a cross walk and out of a long line of...
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Here's a scene from a movie I'm working on called "Striking Resemblance".

...

Mrs. Blumple: "Oh, hello Mrs. Plooter, I see your arm has grown back".

Mrs. Plooter: "Oh my, why yes it has, hasn't it. I hadn't even noticed".

Mrs. Blumple: "Mrs. Plooter, may I ask you something?".

Mrs. Plooter: "Oh, I would be delighted".

Mrs. Blumple: "Have you ever seen a nipple hair...
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A fart so ruthless as one "squeezed" from your bowels without your regard or willing participation has no pity, as does, strangely enough, the brutal silence that seems to materialize only seconds before the inappropriately loud and confrontational flatulent is ripped. After such an event, one usually scans quickly about the room with a look of uncertainty for any persons that may have been witness...
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I, like many children, was forced to ride a big yellow bus to school for many years, and so, like many children, I was hopelessly embarrassed. One instance I recall vividly took place in my fourth year of elementary school. The day was over and I was heading home aboard my assigned bus, mindlessly doodling on my totally tricked out "Trapper Keeper" binder, when out...
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Even though i've never played, i believe i could be a world champion ping pong player within two years. I also believe we could alleviate serial murders in this country by simply replacing the murderers shoes with faux shoes made entirely of mud and straw. Now, when the murderer arrives at his victims front door, the victim will cleverly ask the murderer to "please wipe...
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