fuck. today was shit. not ready, deliveries late, which put me in the shit, which is of course, my fault. i've decided that although i really wanted too, and am trying to thrive at Blackbird, the disorganization of the hierarchy is proving to be too much for me. apparently everyone else there works perfectly fine without any direction or data to look to when they have a question, but me . .. . i don't know. i guess i'm just used to having executive chefs who actually take the time to tell you what they want. that will explain something to me instead of saying "that's your responsibility" and then walking away without helping. i'm not finding it worth walking up at 5:30am, taking a 45 minute train ride to work, only to leave at the end of the day feeling stupid, worthless, and a failure. certainly not for $10/hr.
today was a massive prep day, after the long weekend. i felt like i was working steadily and efficiently. when the health inspector showed up and we had to hide everything that is vaccum sealed, the machine, and sous vide circulators, that was a good 30 minute delay. my most tedious prep is shucking, blanching, and the shelling a second time fresh garbanzo beans. this takes FOREVER and the night guys have TWO people setting up their station to my one. this can easily be a 30-45minute project, and that's going fast. it jus takes forever. well OF COURSE there were none in the walk-in this morning, and OF COURSE the fucking delievery guy shows up at 11am. i was already struggling to get done and this really fucked me over. which was of course, my fault.
i hate admitting failure, but i still hold fast to the belief that i have not been properly trained at this place. learning to swim by drowning in the deep end.
today was a massive prep day, after the long weekend. i felt like i was working steadily and efficiently. when the health inspector showed up and we had to hide everything that is vaccum sealed, the machine, and sous vide circulators, that was a good 30 minute delay. my most tedious prep is shucking, blanching, and the shelling a second time fresh garbanzo beans. this takes FOREVER and the night guys have TWO people setting up their station to my one. this can easily be a 30-45minute project, and that's going fast. it jus takes forever. well OF COURSE there were none in the walk-in this morning, and OF COURSE the fucking delievery guy shows up at 11am. i was already struggling to get done and this really fucked me over. which was of course, my fault.
i hate admitting failure, but i still hold fast to the belief that i have not been properly trained at this place. learning to swim by drowning in the deep end.