Sometimes, depression just hits. Today was one of those days, well over the past three days really. I have actually cried more times over the past two and a half/three days than I have in a while. I broke down to a friend of mine over the phone. I broke down today in front of Sam, and I am about to break down again, right now, as I write this.
I don't know what it is...I guess it has been some what feels like major highs and lows. In my youth, when I would get this way, I would listen to the band Placebo to help me at least calm down. Tonight, it seems to have me just remembering things of the past and have seemed to open a pit in my stomach and heart. While there is a part of me that has the need to cry, there is another part of me that is holding back. I think that the part that is holding back is scared that if I do start to cry, something else might happen. I am the last person awake here at home, with Sam in bed for an hour and Josh just going to bed about 20 minutes ago. So here I am, sitting alone on the couch, with only a lamp to keep me company outside of Placebo. I guess I will head to bed soon, as soon as I leave these last two songs with you for the night. I am going to occupy myself tomorrow with an assignment that was given to me by a photo editor, but more info on that to come later. For now, just three of the songs that have kept me company tonight.
**Update**
It has been 34 minutes since I have posted this blog, and I do feel a bit better, but it has been an up and down roller coaster today emotionally. I will say that. I think I would be better off if I just headed off to bed. good night everyone.
