I'm looking for a new job. Due to a number of different reasons, I feel it's best if me and the Sens part ways. I've been speaking with a few former co-workers, hinting that I might consider going back there in a management capacity, and luckily through the grapevine, the rumor has made it to the Divisional Manager (II'm sneaky like that). Apparently the company would take me back. I'm speaking with my former boss when I get back (she's now a Divisional as well) to see what she has to say.
With that said...I'm open to other work, so any ideas and / or offers would be mucho appreciato.
I did my hair both again and finally. It's not as good as Kim could've done, but it's okay:
Yes, I'm in the bathroom here.
I've had a good week overall. I feel like I'm doing the things I need to do to get myself (sort of) straightened out. I don't want to get completely straight. I like being bent. A littlle. I saw my therapist, he made me feel like...it's okay if I want to leave my job, I'm not a terrible person, it will all get sorted out, etc.
I also went to church the last two Saturdays. I'm not really sure why. It's amazingly strange. I was dragged to mass every Sunday until I was 15. I've hardly been for almost 10 years, and somehow when I'm there, it all comes back to me. Every word to pass the priests' lips, I remember, and say it along with him in my head. Any prayer or response, automatically clicks in and my natural response is to go along...
"I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth..."
Except I found myself editing which phrases I would drone out with everyone (I never did manage to say the above). Being very aware, for the first time, of what I was actually saying, proclaiming, outloud in a room full of strangers. I can't believe I used to take pride in knowing every word, when really I had no idea what I was talking about. It was the first time I've ever listened to what I was saying. Interesting to say the least. It makes me want to go back. I'm intrigued. I do also love the look on my mother's face when she sees me go up for communion and didn't know I was lurking in the back all along. It's a good look in a funny way.
I started Muay Thai again. Kicking, punching, clinching, throwing elbows...these things all make my day better. I'm proud to have gotten off my ass. Yay me!
I've also done about 70 loads of laundry to prepare for my upcoming trips and move. There is something so therapeutic about laundry. I don't know if I'm the only person that feels that way, but if my life is shite, the laundry will make it better.
I apologize for the long post. I think I might print this one off and use it as a check-list for future reference. A "Ways to pull myself out of the deep hole I've thrown myself in" check-list. Everyone needs one. Whatever works for you.
4 days 'til Vegas....I need to book Chicago...I think I'm actually more excited for Chicago than Vegas, but don't tell anyone. 
Have a great week everyone!
MUAH
