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farrah

Hellsville, ONTARIO

Member Since 2005

Followers 223 Following 158

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Saturday Jun 30, 2007

Jun 30, 2007
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I booked my trip to Las Vegas this week with my best friend. So stoked to get outta dodge here, even just for a few days. Also, ordered some new blue contacts online, so hopefully I'll be able to see again and have a different looksy for the trip. I'm always leery to purchase anything on the internet, especially something with a prescription, but the ones I got at the doctor's office suck, so I figure they can't be much worse.

It's been an uppity and downity few days. I'm coming to the realization that I need to continue seeing my therapist on a regular basis, not just as an emergency "quick fix". It's too bad my mental health comes at a cost of $160 an hour (that's Canadian, folks). I guess it's the price you have to pay for mental, spiritual, and emotional development and growth. God I need some medical coverage. I was really buying into everything he was helping me with, but as I always do, went against my better judgement and wavered off the "right" path this week.

He thinks I have a huge ego (not really news) and that I crave instant gratification and happiness and that what I really need to focus on is "investing in happiness for tomorrow and the day after, and the day after that". That I need to start practicing Intelligent Hedonism.

As like many people, I guess I'm terrified of commitment. Not because I'm afraid I'll get hurt and it won't work out, but moreso because I don't trust myself. I don't want to hurt a great person because I'm not ready to be with them or anyone.

Maybe I just haven't found the right person. Maybe everyone I ever feel for is completely unattainable or unavailable and I like it that way because it's so much safer than being vulnerable. Maybe I'm full of shit. Maybe I'm babbling and just enjoy the sound of my fingers on the keyboard.

Someone I am falling in love with:



I adore these lyrics and strongly encourage you to have a good watch / listen. He's coming to town in a few weeks and I'm definitely going to check out the show. If anyone knows how to upload a video into their blog and they care to share I have a Bag-O-Goodies for them.

On a fluffier note, I'm changing my hair soon and want opinions. Here are a few different looks I've either had myself or am interested in. Let me know what you like and don't like:









I'm frustrated by life. I don't want to answer my phone but I get anxiety attacks when it's not within arms reach. Damn you Rogers. Damn you.

That's all for now. If you've read this far you get a big gold STAR. Thanks kids, you're all so very awesome.

Happy Canada Day weekend to all my Canuck friends! Have a beer, pet your beaver, and put on a tuque in honour of our heritage.

CHEERS!

VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
honeybadger:
Actually, I don't know if I could live without crazy girls. It is never boring biggrin Besides, if a girl is really crazy, it makes me seem normal tongue ARRR!!!

I hope it doesn't smell like the kittens you put under the bus wheels. biggrin
Jul 10, 2007
kingskottie:




me in 83...the tall one!
Jul 12, 2007

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