Ok, so here's the deal. After about a month of knowing this has been coming, my dad goes under the knife on Wednesday. I'm real fucking scared. My life has become nothing more than a cycle of me waking up, doing whatever makes the time pass, then drinking myself out of/further into my depression and fear and hatred of things around me, even though I might love some of them. I've shut off everything. I don't care. Really. I've managed to alienate almost everyone around me, and I honestly don't give a shit. I almost hope I get my ass kicked out of this town, because I don't think anyone here could give a fuck about anything anyways, it's just a big cooler than thou fucking orgy. since i'm not cool, I factor into the plans never, so I'm not welcome. Anyways, i've rambeled on long enough...maybe too long. I'm a miserable bastard, and I might speak the contrary, but I love all you guys, and I just hope your all doing ok....If i'm not around a lot, or am a miserable bastard, or MORE of a miserable bastard, I'm sorry in advance, but remember this......
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Saturday Oct 02, 2004
You can't run away from yourself...
it was all about how things are exactly how they are supposed to be..
we are not in any situation we are not meant to be in.
we are here to learn..
and no parent ever wants to see their son sad..
so keep your chin up for your Dad. . Im sure he needs it as much as you do..
you rule.. so dont let negative people and reality bring you down..
we get beat up all the time in life... but we always recover
xoxoxox
Try not to stress about your dad...just be there for him if you can...will he need to stay in the hospital or is it an outpatient type thing?
And you, yes you, you miserable bastard
Buck up buttercup!