fandango63

in all honesty, i haven't felt very positive about myself on a regular basis since the first half of 2005. after a lot of everything, i'm finally pulling my self and my life back together. it's nowhere near what i'd thought it would ever be and it's not exactly what would be the most envied of lives, but i can take solace in the fact that i'm living a life that's pretty ethically honest. i take time for my family, i work hard when the sun shines and i spend some of my time just putting out positive vibes. i don't even know how to properly communicate what my hard work did for a starting out bmx rider's life the other day. i just know that he's super stoked and that i'm super stoked that he's super stoked.

it's funny, my grandma came down for mother's day on her first venture from home after my grandfather died. i'm not good at talking to people but we watched a couple reds games on tv and somehow we could communicate a litle bit better. when my dad took her up to back home the other day, she said some really nice things to me about me and i didn't know what exactly to say to her. i'm not used to people being nice to me; i can't really handle it. but, i i know that i thanked her the right way way when i gave her a really kind bear hug.

i'm pretty stoked that i'm finally capable of understanding these kindas of things in life as they happen. i think that my emotional part of the brain is finally starting to catch up with the rest of my brain...