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I've learned something important over the past 24 hours:
Ignore the stem. It's red-herring.
If you want to remove the diva cup, the stem is too small/slippery to do any good. Reach in with your index finger until you can feel the side of the cup. Then reach in your thumb and pinch the cup. This will release the suction and allow the fucker to come out. If you can't get a good grip, bear down a bit. This definitely helps. Tugging on the stem while it's suction-cupped in there is futile and will only drive you mad.
Again: ignore the stem. Just cut the fucker off entirely. If you ever want that thing out of your cooch, pinch the base of the cup. That's the only way.
Good luck!