Hmmm...Tis been awhile again!
Im sad again tonight. I miss Steve.
Break-ups are hard. Add on top of that uncertainty as to whether or not you made the correct decision and you get torture. Im torturing myself and I hate it. I can't be with someone who spends three hours per week with me...yet claims he misses me and cares for me soooo much. Actions speak louder than words buddy.
So why I am being weak? I think I'm afraid to be alone. Its a scary feeling and I don't like it. I am strong. I don't need a man to take care of me...but it sure does feel nice having someone care about you. Someone to cuddle with.
I know I made the right decision for now but...it feels like I will never meet someone else. I hate that "new-ness" and getting to know someone new feeling. I like comfort and thats exactly what Steve was.
I know there is someone out there better for me but it is HARD to keep telling myself that right now...blahhhhh.
Im excited to see Chelly's new baby tomorrow! Lexi was born today and weighed in at 6lbs 8oz. Mom and baby are healthy and that is a blessing.
I suppose I should take my sad ass to bed...nothing better to do =/
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the thing I found the wierdest was just things that we always used to do together like hanging out on sundays doing nothing and stuff like that. I just tried to keep busy cause obsessing about just makes you question the decision which deep down I knew was right anyway.