fallonlee

still working fourteen hours a day. hired someone this week though, so it should stop soon.

have managed to stay undramatic, and halfway normal for more than a week now. yippee!

friends dawn, and ashley have been coming over and watching movies almost every night. it's better than stumbling out of a bar. although you should do that once in a while.

couple more weeks...
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putting my life back in order has turned out to be more difficult than i expected.

still,i am making progress.

baby steps, and happy thoughts.

at least i'm sleeping a little bit better now. that in itself does wonders

blah

i think i'm having a nervous breakdown.
maybe sleep deprevation is driving me crazy.
whatever's happening, i'm falling apart.

it's funny.
i never thought it would be so quiet.
so much for expectations.
sometimes you just stop.

so have been spending a lot of time with my new guitar player/friend Ashley. she's kind of like a pretend girlfriend. we hang out all the time. she's started sleeping here. i just don't know if i should kiss her. she's hinting fir it,but i'm not sure. she's only 21 and i've had bad luck with girls younger than me. still i like her a...
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so my hands have turned into traitors.
useless tools.
they can no longer take the words out of my heart fast enough.
i see everything clearly on the verge of sleep. drag my ass to the typewriter, and just see an evil grinning machine. all the words are gone.
fuck it!
let's have a drink.

i have the coolest mom ever. she never blinked an eye when i came home with a mohawk. has stood by me through everything. even the shit that's my fault.

my guitar player ashley, and i played a cheezed out version of "hi mom it's me." for our mom's today. they were both cool enough to like it

will never forget my mom helping me...
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need to get my head together. what's left of it. torturing myself over things i can't change. useless,and pointless.need a new way.

I QUIT!!!!!!!!!!!
peace through apathy.
blowing kisses at tombstones.
i am quitely undone.

life is fucking grand!!
seriously.
i'm not being sarcastic.
don't look at me that way.
i'm serious.
i'm actualy happy.
okay, fuck you then !
asshole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

going to look for a puppy today.that should be fun. my daughter wants a big dog. we'll see.

have to put pink streaks in her hair today too. she's already such a little punk rocker. can even sing the ramones you didn't mean anything to me.

shaping up to be a good day.