So for those of you who don't know, or haven't heard, I was Dating Cairo and planning on moving to Maryland in 2 weeks to be with her.
Was being the operative word in that last sentence.
She is apparently going through some things in her own life/heart/mind and she cannot be in a relationship. She told me as much last night.
I've talked to a few friends, and they've informed me of the appropriate emotions that I should be feeling given the circumstances of my situation and yet am utterly failing to feel. I'm not partiularly angry about this, or hurt, or heartbroken. I learned a lot from this experience. I've learned a lot about myself, about what I'm capable of, and about who I am and what I want. I've also lost my virginity, which is nice I guess. While being "dumped" is essentially a bad experience, I'm glad I can even have this experience without falling to pieces or trying to end my life. My biggest fear was rejection, and that's essentially what this is. I've conquered that fear.
I don't know what is going to become of us. I love her. She's a smart, funny, sexy, caring and compassionate person, and I really do hope she finds what she's looking for. If it's not me, then I hope she can find a better guy. As far as I'm concerned, I'm decent enough; but I'm certainly not perfect. I know who I am though, and I'm going someplace in life that I think will be amazing.
Anyways, I thought I should give y'all an explanation of what's going on.
So, I'm moving to Silverdale, WA. it's not Seattle, and it's probably a sleepier town than Bellingham, but it's my best and only option right now. I'll have cheap rent and I'll be 30 minutes closer to Seattle. Hopefully I'll get to go to a community college in the fall and get a part time job. It's comforting to know I'll have a place to stay at least.
Was being the operative word in that last sentence.
She is apparently going through some things in her own life/heart/mind and she cannot be in a relationship. She told me as much last night.
I've talked to a few friends, and they've informed me of the appropriate emotions that I should be feeling given the circumstances of my situation and yet am utterly failing to feel. I'm not partiularly angry about this, or hurt, or heartbroken. I learned a lot from this experience. I've learned a lot about myself, about what I'm capable of, and about who I am and what I want. I've also lost my virginity, which is nice I guess. While being "dumped" is essentially a bad experience, I'm glad I can even have this experience without falling to pieces or trying to end my life. My biggest fear was rejection, and that's essentially what this is. I've conquered that fear.
I don't know what is going to become of us. I love her. She's a smart, funny, sexy, caring and compassionate person, and I really do hope she finds what she's looking for. If it's not me, then I hope she can find a better guy. As far as I'm concerned, I'm decent enough; but I'm certainly not perfect. I know who I am though, and I'm going someplace in life that I think will be amazing.
Anyways, I thought I should give y'all an explanation of what's going on.
So, I'm moving to Silverdale, WA. it's not Seattle, and it's probably a sleepier town than Bellingham, but it's my best and only option right now. I'll have cheap rent and I'll be 30 minutes closer to Seattle. Hopefully I'll get to go to a community college in the fall and get a part time job. It's comforting to know I'll have a place to stay at least.
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You'll have to check out the Minette Tavern. There's something going on every weekend there. Open mic on wed. can be quite interesting. There's actually quite a few SG'ers over here now.
Well, another life experience learned.. Time for a drink with the "group"? Tomorrow night, perhaps?
See you at Linda's.