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fallfromgrace

Westland, MI.

Member Since 2004

Followers 44 Following 47

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Tuesday Feb 15, 2005

Feb 15, 2005
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I have a stuffy nose. Normally this wouldn't bother me too badly, but I'm donating plasma and I can't be donating when I'm sick. I need that money!!!!

Teeth are fine. there's a filling that has a "Bubble" in it that my dentist has to fix, no charge thank God, but other than that, clean bill of health for my chompers. something to be happy about I guess.

I'm dropping the diet. sort of. I need to save money, and so I'm going to need to save that food money. back to ramen for the next 6 months, interspersed with more fruits and veggies, and some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for protein. but lunch meats are out of the question, too expensive.

I'm reasonably happy though. I'm in the phase of not caring that I'm completely alone and have never had a relationship. Kind of lucky for me I was in that mentality for V-Day... made things go smoother. There's a lot to be said for being single; it's cheap, uncomplicated, and I'm free to do what I want with my time. but then again, I don't get to cuddle, or love anyone. and I've got this heart full of love that has never been tapped.

it's funny, I looked at the boards, and there's always some girl who wishes that she'd be getting flower and candy and recognition on valentine's day. I wish I had someone to send flowers and candy too. I've never been liked that way, or I've never found out that someone liked me that way, and if I did, it wasn't mutual. So the flowers remain unsent and the heart shaped candies unopened.

My biggest fear is that I will never have that. I'm intensely scared that no one that I love will ever love me back in the same way. I know quite a few people that think love doesn't even exist. They say the most you can hope for is a good fuck and financial stability. I think it's sad people come to that conclusion, and I hope it's not based in reality.

I'm hopefully over the whole "OMG I'm still a Virgin WTF!" phase. I'm might be a "virgin"... but I'm nowhere near innocent. And if I really wanted to lose my virginity, I could, it isn't that hard if that's all you want to get done.

I don't know if that aspect of my life will ever change. but for now, I'm ok with it. I hope this feeling continues, because I'm sure being single is going to.

VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
jablesmcnugent:
Hey thanks for shedding light on something i have left in the shadows for a long time.
Feb 17, 2005
cosyne:
Yay for ramen! I'm having some right now!
Feb 17, 2005

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