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fallenglory

Member Since 2008

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Wednesday Jan 05, 2011

Jan 5, 2011
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Thank you all for the birthday wishes!

Yes, happy birthday to me. Just another day. Brett came home, held Oriana while I finished dinner, made a comment about how long he was holding her, so I took her...then he took her when I was having trouble eating my dinner, "because it's your birthday." He's now in bed and I have a tired, cranky baby and a toddler to get ready for bed in 20 minutes. No card, no kiss. I did get a couple, "happy birthday"s, though. i guess that's something. Oh, did I mention he was a dick to me on the phone when I asked when he thought he'd be home so I could have dinner ready for him as usual?

But I would like to thank those of you that supported my etsy business and all of you that wished me a sincere happy birthday and N0LD0R for the gift. It was a wonderful surprise this morning and you all helped make my day. It's not your fault my SO doesn't care. blackeyed
VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
lixor17:
(Minor correction: Ukranian Christmas is tomorrow, Friday.)

When my wife and I went to counseling, one of the things the therapist emphasized was the importance of getting away from the routine and spending time together -- that even if all we had time for was a 15 minute walk together, that it was worth doing. We tried it for a while, and it really did help us. Unfortunately, those outings migrated in to mostly "running errands", such as doing grocery shopping -- not really "us" time. But at least we get to do the errands together with opportunities to talk and laugh or hug or what-ever we feel like.

Every serious psychologist I have read or talked to (except perhaps one) has emphasized the value of some "self-time". "self-time" doesn't necessarily mean that you must leave the place (but you can do that if you want, for sure), but that for that time, someone else has the responsibilities and you get to do whatever recharges you, whether that's a hot bath, or watching an old Hawaii Five-Oh, or feeding the birds in the park, or closing yourself in the bedroom and listening to YOUR music on headphones. It isn't a "gift" that one partner gives another, it is a basic necessity. It isn't possible to be "on duty" 24 hours a day 7 days a week. My doctor would explain it in terms of cortisone build-up. Just by looking at the color of my skin, and pressing his thumb in my arm and watching how long it took for my arm to turn "pink" again, he could tell that I'd been past the point of overload for a minimum of 3 years, with 5 years more likely. Stress affects your health.


Which indirectly reminds me: since you have two children, one with your present partner and one before, and the present partner isn't doing much towards raising the kids, you should be preparing papers against the possibility that you might be unable to raise the children yourself for lesser or greater periods. A 24 hour flu is one thing, a month(s)-long stay in the hospital due to (say) pneumonia, or a drunk car driver, is another thing.
Jan 6, 2011
kateastrophe:
We flew tongue
Jan 7, 2011

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