fallenglory

I was talking to someone who brought up the fact that I used to want to go to FIT for fashion design and he thought I was talented and told me not to waste it.. Now, he knew me back in high school. He does not know me today. Today I have different priorities in what I'd like my profession to be and to allow me to do. For many years, even in high school, I've wanted to have a small vegetarian/vegan cafe. This is something I actually do still want very much.

Before I got laid off from my job two years ago (and before I got pregnant with Finn) I was going to start going to a work study program to get into cooking school. Because of the school, the only student loan available is a career training loan through sallie mae and I got denied. I gave up on the dream when I got laid off and moved to MD before finding out I was pregnant. Things have been really rough, but I am not gaining confidence that somehow it will all work out. I don't ever want to give up on my dream again, but it seems there is no longer a work study program and school is now over $21,000 for part-time training of 10 months. This is inaccessible for me and will be for a very long time, because now my credit is completely shot and the only chance of getting a loan would be a co-signer with amazing credit and income to make up for my lack there of. And I just don't have anyone that can do that. And if I did, I'd still need help with babysitting 2 days a week for me to go to school because I still don't make enough to be able to afford any childcare, so it looks like things may just never happen for me.

I'm not really sure why I'm posting this, it's just something that's been on my mind all day.