Tuesday Mar 04, 2003

0
maybe i AM bitter, damn you.

maybe love and bitterness are inextricably, eternally linked, dammit.

i will not apologize for who i am.


i would like to take this moment to tell everyone that stylesafi is pretty damn cool. and i think he likes booze as much as i do.

that is all.

-over and out-
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zombieshark:
if you were a cloned hotdog then you could consist of anything you desired to be processed from.

[Edited on Mar 05, 2003]
ninji:
bitter away, princess ocsar wilde. wink prince dorothy parker.

yeah i'd be cool w/meeting. i'm actually outta town until the 17th so let's plan for on or after!

e me off SG! smile

Sunday Mar 02, 2003

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You're horrible. You do that shit and it's torture. 'Cause you know all I wanna do is throw you down and rip your pants off. mad love

But I can't. I'm trying real, REAL hard to help you be good, but you're not making it very easy.

And you must have some magically delicious pheromones, because no matter how much of a dickhole you are, I still...
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VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
zombieshark:
you were right the first time, it does feel good to know that others feel just as horrible as you do, not in a malicious way though.. so it's ok,. well, not all the time at least *grin*
i'll punch that guy in the stomache for you if you'd like,
everyone one of my failures with women was caused by those types... those... types.. grr! at least the girls always regretted it and cried.
wink

[Edited on Mar 03, 2003]
ninji:
mmmm forgot to acknowledge your new piccie, too. mystical pixie hair. cute indiechick alert! (woop woop!)

Wednesday Feb 26, 2003

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"... one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do.
two can be as bad as one, it's the lonliest number since the number one.
no is the saddest experience you'll ever know.

..because one is the lonliest number, that you'll ever do. one is the lonliest number, that you'll ever know."

i studied with dan at the coffee shop last night. i didn't study....
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
zombieshark:
i was talking to myself again

[Edited on Feb 28, 2003]
zombieshark:
i could tell you that you are not ugly in any sense of the word, and be telling the truth, but you wouldn't believe me. because i do the same thing every day of my life. i've had stalkers.. but i rarely say anything about them because i'm worried someone will ask why exactly they would stalk somebody like me.

Monday Feb 24, 2003

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The Mickey Mouse Gas Mask is a very scary thing. it's real.

never underestimate the power of good food, masturbation, and hope to make life worth living.

booze is pretty good too. bok
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ninji:
i'll eat--
uh,...
i'll diddle, um...i'll
think, uh, live...
i'll drink to that! :o)
ninji:
hi beautiful doll'in.

"shadow" side. carl jung explored, explicated and expounded upon the idea.

i found a succinct descrip of it on the web. it's long but i didn't wanna take it outta context:

"There are three different kinds of archetypes. The first is the persona archetype which "represents the energy we expend in social roles." Dreams with this particular archetype show how much the dreamer plays into the role given to him or her socially. The second kind is the shadow archetype, or dark side. It demonstrates the "primitive, animal-like instincts that man has inherited form his evolutionary ancestors." The presence of this archetype in the mind helps the person become accustomed to his or her darker side. The third is the archetype of the soul or the animus and anima. The animus archetype represents the masculine side of a womans personality. The anima archetype represents the feminine side of a mans personality. This archetype helps the person get in touch with the opposite sex and to better understand them. "

the deal is, though, that these archetypes do not show up ONLY in dreams. in fact, i do believe i have found my shadow side @ work. 1 dude above all others. who goes out of his way to make me feel as awful as possible. (i do the exact opposite with people). god. i have a lot to learn.i want to quit so bad. but i know another version will show up wherever i run to.
thanks for your kind words. smile most of my writing, to be honest, is the kind it is very hard to respond to. i don't expect responses, i just like to get it out there and see what shows up. or who. still, i thank you so much, sweet daffodil girl.



[Edited on Feb 25, 2003]

Friday Feb 21, 2003

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i just got back from my grandma's funeral... it was actually a lot better than i expected. everyone seemed to be pretty comfortable with the fact that she was ready to die and was really "in a better place."

all of the religious stuff kinda bothers me though... my whole family. it's like "she's in a better place now, and you better worship our lord...
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ninji:
p.s. this new sepia toned picture of you is completely adorable and lovely.
purge:
thanks and I like your profile pic smile

Wednesday Feb 19, 2003

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thanks to everybody who left comments in my last entry... i really needed some human contact, and well... sympathy. so thanks.

i'm listening to fiona apple... it brings back these memories.
there was a while in my last year of high school when me and my best friend anne took acid almost every weekend. we're very connected, since that, or because of that. when i...
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kentavos:
I usually don't write much, but I enjoy listening (reading).

Hope you're doing better.

I had a similar best friend in high school. I really miss those dayz.
synnove:
i hope you're doing better too sweetie kiss

Tuesday Feb 18, 2003

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please don't mind if i just freak out here for a while.

my grandma died this morning at 4 am. my mom called this morning and i could tell how hard she was trying to keep from crying while she talked to me. my grandma was old and miserable and i knew she was going to die sometime soon. i didn't think it would bother...
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
synnove:
aw i'm so sorry hun frown

write about it all you like, if that's what helps then do it. *hugs*
lilxsin:
I am sooo sry! Big hugz to you. Much love sweety.

Monday Feb 17, 2003

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see johnny cash cover nine inch nails: It's so cool.

today is filled with apathy.

yesterday's word was:
enmity \EN-mih-tee\, noun:
Hatred; ill will; hostile or unfriendly disposition.

sometimes i feel enmity.
ninji:
i know; the cover es muy bueno.

ack...shadow side. so many of my peeps are goin't hrough a shadow side lately. je ne sais pas pourquoi. loopy times. maybe all we can do is hold each other through it sometimes.

sometimes i feel unworthy. i don't think that's EVERY true. all of us deserve love and nourishment. why i exclude myself from that fact, i cannot say, but it's a habit i need to f'ing break.

big beautiful orb in this picture. alive. awake. aware. caring.
muggan_music:
thank you dear for you comments!
*grin*
peas and love,
skullm_mskull

Saturday Feb 15, 2003

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why is it that the people i care about most are the ones who treat me the worst?

it can't be a coincidence.

sometimes something happens and you start to really understand that every person has a story behind their eyes... you only see these flashes, a hello, maybe a fuck you, maybe not even a word, and most of the time it's hard to...
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_v_:
i agree i agree i agree
hnece my problem meeting people in this town
i am very honest and up front about me and my silly idiocyncrisies
i make fun of my fualts and such
some people never let down the curtain. it is sad.
so many poor individuals - no sad ones live behind the curtain and forget who they are
some just mask everything and try to compensate for their lack of confidence by replacing it with anus behavior.
fuckin people
ugh
oh hi
ghwb01:
I didn't think I said anything rude. I hope you just last the connection.

It would be ironic for someone concerned about people treating them badly (see above) to just close the connection without even modest pleasantries.

Thursday Feb 13, 2003

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woohoo, synnove is my antivalentine! love love love

er, maybe mad mad mad instead. i'm not really sure what being an antivalentine entails.

i should probably keep this link up for now, you might need it:
http://www.notsosoft.com/postcard/
send these to folks like myself who are jaded about valentine's day. i really like the one that says "stop talking about your fucking wedding." reminds me of someone i know... mad

it is essential...
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residue:
for what its worth: i send my valentines wishes to bush
cuz he doesnt has many friends left ...

mad

zombieshark:
you got yourself a deal missy.

i already have a high maintenance roommate, so it's nothing new to me wink

uncle jemima's pure mash liqour
"hey, what are you swattin' at?"
leave me alone, i just wanna sell booze
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