fallen1carus

oh dear, worst pickup line ever! i was just standing in the park freezing my nuts off...

random dude: hey.

me: hi.

random dude: what's up.

me: not much.

random dude: yeah. i just got out of a four year long distance relationship with a girl in texas and my heart is finally ready to flirt again. i thought i might find some cute girl to cuddle with. you know, it's pretty cold out here. i figure i could warm 'em up.

me: yeah, well there's some cute girls over there and there, maybe you'll find someone. (noticing that his breath smells like he ate a dead cat and looking desperately for a way out, choking on this smell)

random dude: yeah. you're pretty cute. but you probably wouldn't have anything to do with me.

me: yeah. that's actually my boyfriend over there. i'm gonna go hang out with him for a while. (and silently: you know, the one who brushes his teeth and manages to keep his eyelids at least three quarters open even when entirely wasted. the one who, like, showers, and stuff.)

.....................and this is the mental image of me running away and breathing fresh air.