there are so many people that mean so much to me...
there was a time where i gave up and decided to hate everyone. and i've found that when you hate the world, it hates you right back.
i've stopped living my life that way.
there's two people who probably won't read this, but i feel the need to say thank you. i'll tell them too, but i'd like to give my appreciation publicly (because i know people on a porn site wanna hear about it). you never know what's going to happen tomorrow and i'd like people to know i give a shit and they've made a difference.
my buddy dan in seattle is one of the smartest motherfuckers i've ever met and i could talk to him for hours about anything. tonight we discussed reality... is there an objective version? is that enlightenment? and when your theory on reality becomes religion, what function does it serve? what is the point in believing? (there may be several points.)
i just get this adrenaline rush when i get to talk to someone who can coherently discuss and debate such abstract issues with me. not only because it stimulates the brain but because it makes you (re)evaluate what you really think about life and the way you believe you should live it. i feel like i have epiphanies all the time, and still i know so little about everything. i'm learning and growing and changing all the time.
and the other thanks goes to anne, because i'd probably starve without her. she's an awesome cook and a wonderful human being. she's my best friend and i can tell her absolutely anything. around most people i'm pretty honest and open i think, but there's a lot of things i don't, or can't, say. i don't feel that need to hold back around her. i don't feel nervous. i stumble over my own thoughts or i just break down, and no matter what, she just understands.
there's so many other people that have made an impact on my life, and i'll get to them all in time... but it would take hundreds of journal entries to convey, so i'll keep it at this for now. a big thank you to everyone who has been there for me.
and a toast to all the genuine motherfuckers of the world.
there was a time where i gave up and decided to hate everyone. and i've found that when you hate the world, it hates you right back.
i've stopped living my life that way.
there's two people who probably won't read this, but i feel the need to say thank you. i'll tell them too, but i'd like to give my appreciation publicly (because i know people on a porn site wanna hear about it). you never know what's going to happen tomorrow and i'd like people to know i give a shit and they've made a difference.
my buddy dan in seattle is one of the smartest motherfuckers i've ever met and i could talk to him for hours about anything. tonight we discussed reality... is there an objective version? is that enlightenment? and when your theory on reality becomes religion, what function does it serve? what is the point in believing? (there may be several points.)
i just get this adrenaline rush when i get to talk to someone who can coherently discuss and debate such abstract issues with me. not only because it stimulates the brain but because it makes you (re)evaluate what you really think about life and the way you believe you should live it. i feel like i have epiphanies all the time, and still i know so little about everything. i'm learning and growing and changing all the time.
and the other thanks goes to anne, because i'd probably starve without her. she's an awesome cook and a wonderful human being. she's my best friend and i can tell her absolutely anything. around most people i'm pretty honest and open i think, but there's a lot of things i don't, or can't, say. i don't feel that need to hold back around her. i don't feel nervous. i stumble over my own thoughts or i just break down, and no matter what, she just understands.
there's so many other people that have made an impact on my life, and i'll get to them all in time... but it would take hundreds of journal entries to convey, so i'll keep it at this for now. a big thank you to everyone who has been there for me.
and a toast to all the genuine motherfuckers of the world.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
and why i almost kicked my gyno in the head - well she jabs the speculum (sp?) in, and stretches the shit out of my cervix in about .0001 seconds, so that didn't feel very good. she didn't ease into it at all. and then does her thing and what not, and doesn't ease out of it either and basically pulls the speculum out and my cervix just fucking collapses all over the place.
i was so. pissed. off. ugh i hated her.
so that is why i almost kicked her in the head. she was so fucking rough
you rock by the way.