i am waiting.
as i wait a pit begins to develop in my stomach.
growing.
it travels up me.
it's in my throat.
and i'm worried that if i can't control myself i will just vomit it up.
in front of everyone.
and then they'll know.
and i'm waiting for something
that isn't coming.
and the pit is choking me.
and it hurts.
i want...
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as i wait a pit begins to develop in my stomach.
growing.
it travels up me.
it's in my throat.
and i'm worried that if i can't control myself i will just vomit it up.
in front of everyone.
and then they'll know.
and i'm waiting for something
that isn't coming.
and the pit is choking me.
and it hurts.
i want...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
fallen1carus:
what an optimistic thought...
radd:
It's worked for me so far. The worse you think things are, the worse they get. Gotta keep it in perspective.
it makes me think about what i want to do with myself... i don't want to be here forever, wasting away... working this much makes me burned out. it's hard to fathom that this is what most adults do... 40 hours a week, most of the time they are awake in the day, to a JOB. to something that is not a choice so much...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
radd:
I can relate. I'm sticking around Madison for another after my current lease is up, tops. It's not the type of place to stop in for too long. Right now I'm just paying off debts and saving cash. Once I got a good stockpile of bank put away, I'm off for parts unknown. Who knows? Maybe the animation industry will be back on it's feet by then...
emily:
Thank you for the comment in my journal!Yeah I don't think she can be a Sg....She can't talk shit about the girls,Then BE one....you know?=)
dream 8-7-02
I am sitting on the roof of a temple where a religious ceremony is taking place. I am not one of the usual members of the congregation, but a guest. The sun is going down on a giant lake which seems to surround the building. I can see three black glass pyramids in the distance and the way the sunset reflects off of...
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I am sitting on the roof of a temple where a religious ceremony is taking place. I am not one of the usual members of the congregation, but a guest. The sun is going down on a giant lake which seems to surround the building. I can see three black glass pyramids in the distance and the way the sunset reflects off of...
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kentavos:
Hmmmm....very interesting....kinda weird too...at least you got someone's phone number.
i feel like a piece of meat. let's bring in a liz phair song.
"fuck and run"
i woke up alarmed
i didn't know where i was at first
just then i woke up in your arms
and almost immediately i felt sorry
cause i didn't think this would happen again
no matter what i could do or say
just then i didn't think this...
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"fuck and run"
i woke up alarmed
i didn't know where i was at first
just then i woke up in your arms
and almost immediately i felt sorry
cause i didn't think this would happen again
no matter what i could do or say
just then i didn't think this...
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misterseeon:
i love that song, i mentioned that song in one of my journal entries not too long ago. nice pic by the way 
kentavos:
That song says a lot. Lotta running too.
the sky glowed green last night. it was nice.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
fallen1carus:
yes... it was the northern lights... imagine my surprise upon walking out to the lake stoned, noticing green, glowing, warping clouds in the sky. it was kind of eerie.
kentavos:
Hey, nice new pic. I should change my pic a little more often.
I could imagine that the sky weirded you out at that moment...I've never seen the northern lights before.
I could imagine that the sky weirded you out at that moment...I've never seen the northern lights before.
kiss me
caress me
touch every inch
lick me
tease me
make me come
caress me
touch every inch
lick me
tease me
make me come
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
fallen1carus:
i suppose it does put thoughts into one's mind... i think that's reasonable. i just needed to...vent...
kentavos:
Nice venting!
the "rave" turned out to be more of a keg party with some shitty djs, but i guess i couldn't have expected anything spectacular... we enjoyed some rain, booze and photography.
it's fucking hot out. fucking humid. it feels like the air is going to burst. or suffocate everyone.
it's fucking hot out. fucking humid. it feels like the air is going to burst. or suffocate everyone.
jeeff:
hours of dancing in a blisteringly hot club seems to produce chafed nipples. nothing else does it. i don't know, perhaps i should tape them.
ps. lovely dye job, my friend amazon & i are impressed. hope you enjoyed your party regardless.
ps. lovely dye job, my friend amazon & i are impressed. hope you enjoyed your party regardless.
kentavos:
Oh a keg party... Hmmm...at least there was beer. Sounds like you need to fill the tub with ice and jump in. It's been a hot and dry summer here. At least the high temps are back down to the 80's. I'm ready for some rain.
in my dream i searched for morels and found a whole bucketful... i was so content. then a man came who owned the property i was harvesting on, and chased after me with his truck. my boss and i ran through the tall grass and hid in it, outside of my friend's house. we tried to peek inside the house using a computerized camera system,...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
kentavos:
Yes, Jenna is very nice and a Fin too! A rave would be fun, I'm headed to the largest micro brew fest in North America! Mmmm....beer.
jeeff:
i think it all depends on the parties you go to. at least it does around here. there are a few good events that aren't full of fucked up kids, and i still love to dance.
my last dream involved the end of the world, with my best friend as the angel of death. very creepy.
my last dream involved the end of the world, with my best friend as the angel of death. very creepy.
sooo.... here's the new hair. i think i'll get used to it.
my day is going better than this morning.
a girl who i met in the store loaned me a video of portishead live. i think i will get smoked up and watch it. maybe i will eat a pot pie. thank [deity] for the simple things.
my day is going better than this morning.
a girl who i met in the store loaned me a video of portishead live. i think i will get smoked up and watch it. maybe i will eat a pot pie. thank [deity] for the simple things.
misterseeon:
i like the blue 
kentavos:
Very nice colour! It looks good on you.
i feel like shit this morning, actually...
my boss is letting me help interview new employees, and i am looking forward to that, giving them hell... ah, the power to choose.
but my best friend has been ignoring me for the past four days, for reasons i cannot even begin to fathom, and this sucks.
i also dyed my hair blue and i'm not sure...
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my boss is letting me help interview new employees, and i am looking forward to that, giving them hell... ah, the power to choose.
but my best friend has been ignoring me for the past four days, for reasons i cannot even begin to fathom, and this sucks.
i also dyed my hair blue and i'm not sure...
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misterseeon:
blue? i want to see
apostasy \uh-POS-tuh-see\, noun:
Total desertion or departure from one's faith, principles, or party.
Total desertion or departure from one's faith, principles, or party.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
fallen1carus:
yes, it was a fantastic book indeed. well hello.
residue:
Voorwaar de Kinderen van de Draak sprongen op, toen het bloed
werd gesprenkeld op de grond waar niets kon groeien; het Volk
van de Draak sprong op, gewapend voor de dans met de door.
En hij riep hen op uit de barre landen te gaan en zij deden
de wereld beven van de oorlog ...
________________
Behold the Children of the Dragon, they stood up when the blood stained the earth where nothing could grow; the People of the the Dragon arose, armed for the Dance with Death.
And He called them to leave the desert land and the did the world tremble with War ...
WOT
werd gesprenkeld op de grond waar niets kon groeien; het Volk
van de Draak sprong op, gewapend voor de dans met de door.
En hij riep hen op uit de barre landen te gaan en zij deden
de wereld beven van de oorlog ...
________________
Behold the Children of the Dragon, they stood up when the blood stained the earth where nothing could grow; the People of the the Dragon arose, armed for the Dance with Death.
And He called them to leave the desert land and the did the world tremble with War ...
WOT
dream 7/19/02
in the mountains, with my father and my kitten, i bobbed up and down in the water, watching in horror at the blank expression on the cat's face. somehow it seemed i had no choice in the matter-- my kitten was part of an experiment. my father did what he could to help, but there was nothing to be done. we just had...
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in the mountains, with my father and my kitten, i bobbed up and down in the water, watching in horror at the blank expression on the cat's face. somehow it seemed i had no choice in the matter-- my kitten was part of an experiment. my father did what he could to help, but there was nothing to be done. we just had...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
misterseeon:
did you watch that movie the abyss before going to bed or something
fallen1carus:
no, i did not watch abyss before going to sleep. but i have seen it before, and i imagine that is where my subconscious got the idea.
and jam, i don't think the cat is me or a kitten... i try to get past applying these dreams to my life because they are generally so bizarre that i can't even begin to interpret them.
most likely i was holding a kitten in the dream because i sleep holding a stuffed cat every night and he was manifested in the dream.
and jam, i don't think the cat is me or a kitten... i try to get past applying these dreams to my life because they are generally so bizarre that i can't even begin to interpret them.
most likely i was holding a kitten in the dream because i sleep holding a stuffed cat every night and he was manifested in the dream.