The Tale of the Bus Stop martyr!
Today me and the G.F are going home from work, so were catching the 2:00 bus. The bus stops a block away and this Angry Bipolar rubby/hippy dude starts doing the come on down wave to it, coaxing it to arrive at it's scheduled destination. Me and the G.F give each other the 'oh joy, this'll be entertaining' look of amusement.
The bus pulls up to the ring master where he announces for all to hear " Ladies first everyone! " as he blocks the doorway for all getting off.
As the ladies start getting on an old Indian fellow attempts to get on before all the ladies have. Well this act of a 65 year old man earned him a slight shove and a "oh, I guess your a lady sir! ", before the old dude shuffles on.
A few more hesitant lady's enter, before another older gentleman attempts to get on. Well our hero is having none of that! He jumps in the way and physically blocks the entrance of the bus and starts calling this old guy down. ( no one gets into it at this point because this old guy is 6ft and still kinda beefy, if not a little geeky) So the old man basically walks through the fearless lion tamer and takes a seat.
Once everyone has boarded the bus in struts our hero, " where's that dickhead? Oh there he is, hey dickhead your a dickhead! " That kind of monkey chatter! The old man say's he can't understand in this thick German/Euro accent, and this get's trumped with the Nazi /Hittler card. The old man stands up, easily a foot taller than the guy and starts defending himself in broken English. The trailer park king starts pulling this I'm gonna kill you prattle, before the old guy winds up and dimples the guys cheek.
From there everyone in the bus stands up to stop this fight before it gets any uglier. This is when a 3 apple tall old lady stands up and turns refferee and starts coaxing the old dude to hold his anger or what have you in check.
The lady turns to mr. trashy and tells him to be a man. Well out witless hero is having none of his manhood questioned by a three foot tall 65 year old Italian lady, ho no friends and family!
He approaches her menacingly, the whole bus stands up ready for a lynching, before buddy realizes he has to wait to get home before smacking old ladies about!
The old guy, who has spent enough time on this wanker, sits down and talks with the Italian bird. The Circus freak( I'm running out of monikers) not admitting defeat decided "I'm gonna let that punch go dickhead because that's how nice I am!" and in the next breath "I'm gonna kill you, I'll get off at your stop!"
And no the bus drivers didn't do a damned thing, I think maybe the Bus driver union has a clause about that!
Today me and the G.F are going home from work, so were catching the 2:00 bus. The bus stops a block away and this Angry Bipolar rubby/hippy dude starts doing the come on down wave to it, coaxing it to arrive at it's scheduled destination. Me and the G.F give each other the 'oh joy, this'll be entertaining' look of amusement.
The bus pulls up to the ring master where he announces for all to hear " Ladies first everyone! " as he blocks the doorway for all getting off.
As the ladies start getting on an old Indian fellow attempts to get on before all the ladies have. Well this act of a 65 year old man earned him a slight shove and a "oh, I guess your a lady sir! ", before the old dude shuffles on.
A few more hesitant lady's enter, before another older gentleman attempts to get on. Well our hero is having none of that! He jumps in the way and physically blocks the entrance of the bus and starts calling this old guy down. ( no one gets into it at this point because this old guy is 6ft and still kinda beefy, if not a little geeky) So the old man basically walks through the fearless lion tamer and takes a seat.
Once everyone has boarded the bus in struts our hero, " where's that dickhead? Oh there he is, hey dickhead your a dickhead! " That kind of monkey chatter! The old man say's he can't understand in this thick German/Euro accent, and this get's trumped with the Nazi /Hittler card. The old man stands up, easily a foot taller than the guy and starts defending himself in broken English. The trailer park king starts pulling this I'm gonna kill you prattle, before the old guy winds up and dimples the guys cheek.
From there everyone in the bus stands up to stop this fight before it gets any uglier. This is when a 3 apple tall old lady stands up and turns refferee and starts coaxing the old dude to hold his anger or what have you in check.
The lady turns to mr. trashy and tells him to be a man. Well out witless hero is having none of his manhood questioned by a three foot tall 65 year old Italian lady, ho no friends and family!
He approaches her menacingly, the whole bus stands up ready for a lynching, before buddy realizes he has to wait to get home before smacking old ladies about!
The old guy, who has spent enough time on this wanker, sits down and talks with the Italian bird. The Circus freak( I'm running out of monikers) not admitting defeat decided "I'm gonna let that punch go dickhead because that's how nice I am!" and in the next breath "I'm gonna kill you, I'll get off at your stop!"
And no the bus drivers didn't do a damned thing, I think maybe the Bus driver union has a clause about that!
alexis:
You saw me on Friendster? hehe did you see queenie on there? That is a crazy story. Bums on buses are quite entertaining... until you realize that you're trapped in there with them.
tygertyger:
Gotta love this town. 
