fallen1

I think it's time for me to wake up. The alarm is ringing, but it doesn't seem to stir me at all. I'm stuck in this obsessive dream, spinning my wheels, going no place, raising no smoke.

I've hopped from one long-term relationship to another since I was 15 with 4 different girls. No wonder when I look at who I am I don't see anything but broken stones and fallen mortar. I was engaged when I was 18, which fizzled by the time I was 21.

My last relationship lasted 8 years, we both started out with the same goals and wants, but somewhere along the way we stopped communicating and woke up with completely different goals. Not a bad thing to realize it when we did, at least we've preserved our respect and love for each other. I can say that we'll be friends for a very long time, and that is really what matters when things boil right down. It's time to work on relationships that matter, one's who reflect what I'll invest.

It's the people on the fringe I need to shed. Obsessions, cackling witches, empty friendships, soul suckers all, good night and farewell. The one thing I regret at this point is the fact that you will be taking one's I would have preferred to keep around me with you when you make your exit, but it's an imperfect world filled with imperfect answers.

I guess it's my fault when I look back on things, no matter how much I try to change it, I keep coming back to me. Can I change? Is it possible to change? Do I just need to go back into hibernation to figure out who I am? As this is one of the places I seem to constantly spin my wheels, it's time to take a hard line and make the breaks needed in order to move on.

Almost makes me wonder... did I have this answer before writing? Or did I conceive as I wrote?