failuretothrive

For me, the anticipation is always the roughest part, when I called Dr. Williams on Friday (vets day), I was so damned nervous about asking about anti-depressants the nurse couldn't even hear me the first time and I had to repeat 'Yeah, I was calling to find out if maybe I should find out about going on an anti-depressant or something.' I was shaking for about a half-hour after the call. Anyway, she said to hold on for a couple of minutes, and then came back on and said she could set me up for an appointment on Tuesday. Thank god, if it had been for 2 weeks or something I'd have really been in really sorry shape for the entire 2 weeks. All I can say is the anticipation is always worse than the actual thing. Dr. Williams was a really (really) cool mo-fo about the whole thing.

So how do you lay your whole life, all your fears, all your 'this stuff really should be trivial, but it's not. It's not, and I don' know why I just can't get over this stuff.'? The truth is, you figure it out as you go along. They're not expecting some 40 page expose (there's probably a way to put the accent on the 's' in expose but I'm really too lazy to figure it out right now) that they're going to grade you on and say you're bad and tell you to go stand in a corner with nothing but a dunce cap on (although I heard there's this place on 3rd street where you pay a chick in leather to do that kind of stuff with you. It's a red house on the corner, go to the side door, knock 5 times, and ask for Lisa. Tuesdays are half-off, or that's what I heard anyway. If you go say hi to Tony for me). Back to the point, try not to worry too much, you'll figure all this stuff out. And if you ever want to talk or anything just call or e-mail whichever method you feel like at the time.
(I kind of worry that we've gotten into too much of a formal pattern of if I call you or you call me it necessarily means I will come over and be this whole big production and all.)