faeryrae

i stared cutting again. the pain is just too great. i am so fuckign worthless. my own my family doesnt even know i exist. i am invisable to them. they never ask how i am or what i been up to its all ryan ryan ryan (my brother who is a marine) i mean yes he is away at boot camp and buliding a career and all but i am going to college to get a career and have a job. i mean i dont want to live at home i want to be on my own but i cant. i am worthless. i had a shitty day at work. called a racist bitch today at work by this black lady since i carded her for cigs and i didnt card the white lady infront of her. i have to card everyone under 27 by law the black lady was in her earlier 20's and the while lady was in her 40's. it makes no sense i am so not a racist. GRR! my boyfriend is just killing me slowly. i need to get out but cant i am trapped. i am sick of this. ah fuck it....i dont care anymore....i will just sit here and try not to cry or cut. dont mind me