I had wanted to update last night but the site was down. Also this was mostly written at work yesterday and then the bottom part was written last night at home:
Im hurting. I think thats the best way to put it. I cant seem to get any sleep and my eyes are burning. I woke up this morning and my left leg , from my thigh to my knee, is throbbing. I have no idea why. Justin has Gabe today so I think when I get home Im going to take a shower and then pack my leg/ankle/foot with ice, hopefully that will make it feel better. Im currently at work but I so dont want to be here. I could barely make it up the stairs this morning. This morning I could tell that Justin was getting aggravated. I cant was any of my laundry because the washer and dryer are downstairs. So Justin has been doing all of my laundry for me. This morning I had to wake him up to go get my work clothes. Then he crawled back into bed. I felt so crappy because I had to ask him to get back out of bed to make a couple of sandwiches for me. He asked me why I didnt mention it last night, I hadnt thought of it until Justin had gone to sleep. I feel so useless. I cant do all that much. Justins been picking up any groceries and prescriptions for me, laundry, doing dishes and a lot of times helping me in the door after work because Im so exhausted. Going in stores is too much for me because Im exhausted by the time I get in the door. I cant do the dishes because I cant get around without the crutches, same thing with laundry. It takes all my energy just getting dressed in the morning and going to my car then going into work, then doing it all over again to go home.
I was in tears this morning because Im so frustrated On top of that, I already needed to ask my mom for money because of the things I need to pay off this week. I hate it! I know it will be better once the things are paid off and I wont have to worry about them anymore.
I just called her alittle while ago and she had no problem giving me some money for the week, she is sending me a check as soon as she can today. That will help alot.
Only about 3 hours to go and I can go home and sleep. I decided that I'm going to put ice on my leg/ankle/foot then take a nap and then later on take a shower. That way it will be easier on both me and Justin because he has Gabe. Whenever I have taken a shower I have been making sure that Justin is around so that if I were to slip at all in the tub he would be there to help me. I think tonight I am going to start the next study unit. I actually went thru the last one really quickly, it only took me 2 days. I did it at work on saturday and sunday because I can't do tours so I just sit here all day. I think ether tonight or tomorrow night I'm going to dye my hair. I have red hair dye that I never used from before. I also need to trim my hair. But I think before I do that I'm going to work on cleaning up my room. I also am going to make a stack of all the dvds that I have borrowed from people and make a point of not watching anything but those. I have alot that I need to watch. I think I have: 3 xtremes, Mirrormask and Gantz vol 3-10. So yeah... there's alot. I think tonight I'm going to tackle the Gantz episodes while I'm cleaningn. The 3 xtremes and Mirrormask dvds I want to sit down and watch carefully. 3 xtremes is a Japanese horror movie and I've heard that it has some fairly shocking scense , that and it's in Japanese with English subtitles. Mirrormask I have heard is incredible. Just by the look of the cover I know I'm going to want to pay close attention to detail.
And I just talked to Justin, we are going to watch Mirrormask tonight. I think I'm going to try not to take a nap, that way I might actually sleep tonight.
update from earlier:
I didn't end up cleaning at all. I made a stack of all the dvds I need to watch. I didn't end up watching Gantz at all because I laid down on the bed when I got home and just instantly fell asleep. I slept until about 7pm then just laid there for like an hour being a slug. I was so tired. We didn't end up watching Mirrormask tonight but we were channel surfing and watched the end of Lord of Illusions. But then we remembered that Stephen King's Desperation was on tonight. I missed the first hour but I caught the last two. What I saw was close to the book but I would have to see the rest to completely decide how it was. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow at 2:45pm for a follow up on my ankle. I still haven't been able to put a shoe over my foot or walk all that much. I took about two steps yesterday but didn't have my aircast on so I didn't want to push it. I'm really upset because I'm not going to be able to go see X-3 this weekend. It's because of a combination of us having Gabe for the weekend, not having the money and me not being able to walk all that far. Walking thru the theater on friday was really tough on me. I can't walk all that far very easily and when I get frustrated and when my arms get weak I have a tendancy of losing my balance and falling. I fell two times this weekend, one being worse than the other. Saturday I fell when we went out to dinner with his family. The restaurunt we went to in North Hampton was very nice but I was told that the parking lot would be right next to it and it wasn't all that close. I mean it was across the street but we ended up having to park in the back of the lot. I got out of the car and took about five steps, I was already upset about how far I was going to have to walk, and I fell. Justin freaked out because he said that he saw me lose my balance and put my injured foot down to balance and the crutches went out and i stood on two feet for a moment then fell sideways when my leg buckled. I wasn't hurt but I did feel a shock go thru my foot and ankle before I fell. Justin went and got the car and drove to where I was and picked me up and drove me to the door of the restaurant. He picked me up at the curb when we left. Sunday an old friend of Justin's was in town so I finally got to meet him. We went to our friend Wayne's place for the PPV and I fell on the first step going into his appartment. Once again I wasn't hurt, I just fell on my knee. By sunday night I was so exhausted and frustrated that I ended up calling in for monday at work. I needed a day to do nothing and not have to go anywhere. It helped but it also rested my leg. I figured out the reason that my leg was bothering me today was that the way that I'm holding my leg when I walk is straining the muscles because of them holding my leg up. I need to start relaxing my leg when I walk and possibly putting my foot down when I walk so that I can start putting more pressure on it and eventually walk with it. But that's more than enough for tonight. I'm going to put a movie in and hopefully get some sleep.
Im hurting. I think thats the best way to put it. I cant seem to get any sleep and my eyes are burning. I woke up this morning and my left leg , from my thigh to my knee, is throbbing. I have no idea why. Justin has Gabe today so I think when I get home Im going to take a shower and then pack my leg/ankle/foot with ice, hopefully that will make it feel better. Im currently at work but I so dont want to be here. I could barely make it up the stairs this morning. This morning I could tell that Justin was getting aggravated. I cant was any of my laundry because the washer and dryer are downstairs. So Justin has been doing all of my laundry for me. This morning I had to wake him up to go get my work clothes. Then he crawled back into bed. I felt so crappy because I had to ask him to get back out of bed to make a couple of sandwiches for me. He asked me why I didnt mention it last night, I hadnt thought of it until Justin had gone to sleep. I feel so useless. I cant do all that much. Justins been picking up any groceries and prescriptions for me, laundry, doing dishes and a lot of times helping me in the door after work because Im so exhausted. Going in stores is too much for me because Im exhausted by the time I get in the door. I cant do the dishes because I cant get around without the crutches, same thing with laundry. It takes all my energy just getting dressed in the morning and going to my car then going into work, then doing it all over again to go home.
I was in tears this morning because Im so frustrated On top of that, I already needed to ask my mom for money because of the things I need to pay off this week. I hate it! I know it will be better once the things are paid off and I wont have to worry about them anymore.
I just called her alittle while ago and she had no problem giving me some money for the week, she is sending me a check as soon as she can today. That will help alot.
Only about 3 hours to go and I can go home and sleep. I decided that I'm going to put ice on my leg/ankle/foot then take a nap and then later on take a shower. That way it will be easier on both me and Justin because he has Gabe. Whenever I have taken a shower I have been making sure that Justin is around so that if I were to slip at all in the tub he would be there to help me. I think tonight I am going to start the next study unit. I actually went thru the last one really quickly, it only took me 2 days. I did it at work on saturday and sunday because I can't do tours so I just sit here all day. I think ether tonight or tomorrow night I'm going to dye my hair. I have red hair dye that I never used from before. I also need to trim my hair. But I think before I do that I'm going to work on cleaning up my room. I also am going to make a stack of all the dvds that I have borrowed from people and make a point of not watching anything but those. I have alot that I need to watch. I think I have: 3 xtremes, Mirrormask and Gantz vol 3-10. So yeah... there's alot. I think tonight I'm going to tackle the Gantz episodes while I'm cleaningn. The 3 xtremes and Mirrormask dvds I want to sit down and watch carefully. 3 xtremes is a Japanese horror movie and I've heard that it has some fairly shocking scense , that and it's in Japanese with English subtitles. Mirrormask I have heard is incredible. Just by the look of the cover I know I'm going to want to pay close attention to detail.
And I just talked to Justin, we are going to watch Mirrormask tonight. I think I'm going to try not to take a nap, that way I might actually sleep tonight.
update from earlier:
I didn't end up cleaning at all. I made a stack of all the dvds I need to watch. I didn't end up watching Gantz at all because I laid down on the bed when I got home and just instantly fell asleep. I slept until about 7pm then just laid there for like an hour being a slug. I was so tired. We didn't end up watching Mirrormask tonight but we were channel surfing and watched the end of Lord of Illusions. But then we remembered that Stephen King's Desperation was on tonight. I missed the first hour but I caught the last two. What I saw was close to the book but I would have to see the rest to completely decide how it was. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow at 2:45pm for a follow up on my ankle. I still haven't been able to put a shoe over my foot or walk all that much. I took about two steps yesterday but didn't have my aircast on so I didn't want to push it. I'm really upset because I'm not going to be able to go see X-3 this weekend.
It's because of a combination of us having Gabe for the weekend, not having the money and me not being able to walk all that far. Walking thru the theater on friday was really tough on me. I can't walk all that far very easily and when I get frustrated and when my arms get weak I have a tendancy of losing my balance and falling. I fell two times this weekend, one being worse than the other. Saturday I fell when we went out to dinner with his family. The restaurunt we went to in North Hampton was very nice but I was told that the parking lot would be right next to it and it wasn't all that close. I mean it was across the street but we ended up having to park in the back of the lot. I got out of the car and took about five steps, I was already upset about how far I was going to have to walk, and I fell. Justin freaked out because he said that he saw me lose my balance and put my injured foot down to balance and the crutches went out and i stood on two feet for a moment then fell sideways when my leg buckled. I wasn't hurt but I did feel a shock go thru my foot and ankle before I fell. Justin went and got the car and drove to where I was and picked me up and drove me to the door of the restaurant. He picked me up at the curb when we left. Sunday an old friend of Justin's was in town so I finally got to meet him. We went to our friend Wayne's place for the PPV and I fell on the first step going into his appartment. Once again I wasn't hurt, I just fell on my knee. By sunday night I was so exhausted and frustrated that I ended up calling in for monday at work. I needed a day to do nothing and not have to go anywhere. It helped but it also rested my leg. I figured out the reason that my leg was bothering me today was that the way that I'm holding my leg when I walk is straining the muscles because of them holding my leg up. I need to start relaxing my leg when I walk and possibly putting my foot down when I walk so that I can start putting more pressure on it and eventually walk with it. But that's more than enough for tonight. I'm going to put a movie in and hopefully get some sleep.