i feel so weird right now. like... so high... as if my head were just this balloon... purple prehaps... and its barely attached.
//the whole day i've been really annoyed.... just so irritable.. and i don't know what the fuck my problem is.
//somewhat of an update of my current life... uhm...... >>>
boy j continues to call me from rehab.. did you know he's doing just oh so well. he has so many dreams and plans to fulfill... and he's fucking jess again... "isn't she like.. uhm...............16?" "no!! she's 17 now" JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.
it went something like...
you do realize they will only fuck you until your hair falls out and your voice fades away.. because they aren't and will never actually love you or fuck you because of your personality. am i suppose to feel special because you're calling..? because you miss me ("you know you're the only girl i've lived with.. and i really thought all our time together was really just so special)? BECAUSE YOU CAN'T FUCK MY CUNT ANY LONGER? WELL I FUCKING DON'T. you ruined me. you completely ruined me. you are the reason i hate so much... you are the reason for my nightmares... for my dark-circled junkie lovin eyes... you are the reason for it all. and i depise you for it. SO why do i answer? WHAT AM I REALLY HOPING FOR? will you tell me how sorry you are? will you remember what it was like in our small bedroom... will you remember that horrible night everything changed? our wild eyes finally matched our wild hearts. i could have honestly hurt you... if she would have just let go... i could have finished it... i could have ripped into you and held much pleasure doing so... i wanted you to hurt.. i wanted to see you bleed. unfortunately... you got me first. did it feel good?
well.. hey i guess i won my shiner fair and square... or not? watch out because maybe one day we'll set face to face again and my intentions won't be so heart-felt then.
// i'm moving out of my house. working until september/october.. and then making plans to leave.....AGAIN.
shesalwaysontherun
// he [boy z] called me up.... told me not to laugh... ahh nevermind.. you can laugh.. i would to and preceeded to serenade me with pieces of me by ashlee simpson.
i loved it. just completely adored it.. because it's just great.
//i feel like i don't know people any more. i feel like... we just happened to live in the same place around the same time.. bumped into each other.. smiled politely and somehow decided to spend a few moments together.
why am i like this? why do i care? why do i whine? why........?
//i need to get another piercing.. maybe
that wrist tattoo that i've been wanting..
oh moneymoneymoney...
//quick note.. while i'm thinking back. should i care that e left and didn't even say goodbye? because.. well.... i kinda do...
//gravel & letting the telephone ring * ani difranco
through with you * maroon 5
//the whole day i've been really annoyed.... just so irritable.. and i don't know what the fuck my problem is.
//somewhat of an update of my current life... uhm...... >>>
boy j continues to call me from rehab.. did you know he's doing just oh so well. he has so many dreams and plans to fulfill... and he's fucking jess again... "isn't she like.. uhm...............16?" "no!! she's 17 now" JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.
it went something like...
you do realize they will only fuck you until your hair falls out and your voice fades away.. because they aren't and will never actually love you or fuck you because of your personality. am i suppose to feel special because you're calling..? because you miss me ("you know you're the only girl i've lived with.. and i really thought all our time together was really just so special)? BECAUSE YOU CAN'T FUCK MY CUNT ANY LONGER? WELL I FUCKING DON'T. you ruined me. you completely ruined me. you are the reason i hate so much... you are the reason for my nightmares... for my dark-circled junkie lovin eyes... you are the reason for it all. and i depise you for it. SO why do i answer? WHAT AM I REALLY HOPING FOR? will you tell me how sorry you are? will you remember what it was like in our small bedroom... will you remember that horrible night everything changed? our wild eyes finally matched our wild hearts. i could have honestly hurt you... if she would have just let go... i could have finished it... i could have ripped into you and held much pleasure doing so... i wanted you to hurt.. i wanted to see you bleed. unfortunately... you got me first. did it feel good?
well.. hey i guess i won my shiner fair and square... or not? watch out because maybe one day we'll set face to face again and my intentions won't be so heart-felt then.
// i'm moving out of my house. working until september/october.. and then making plans to leave.....AGAIN.
shesalwaysontherun
// he [boy z] called me up.... told me not to laugh... ahh nevermind.. you can laugh.. i would to and preceeded to serenade me with pieces of me by ashlee simpson.
i loved it. just completely adored it.. because it's just great.
//i feel like i don't know people any more. i feel like... we just happened to live in the same place around the same time.. bumped into each other.. smiled politely and somehow decided to spend a few moments together.
why am i like this? why do i care? why do i whine? why........?
//i need to get another piercing.. maybe
that wrist tattoo that i've been wanting..
oh moneymoneymoney...
//quick note.. while i'm thinking back. should i care that e left and didn't even say goodbye? because.. well.... i kinda do...
//gravel & letting the telephone ring * ani difranco
through with you * maroon 5
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
Maybe it's time to change your number. Boy J obviously a cock jockey. Not your problem, not your responsibility GET RID OF THE FUCKER.
Boy E? Well it's kinda natural to care about that stuff. I hope it doesn't really matter all that much though.
Boy Z? I'll need more information on him before I can approve, but so far he's seeming streets ahead!
I know people who can "problem solve" for very reasonable rates. Let me know if you need their services turning J into X....
That was a joke by the way