faerie

so i really fucked up....

i had been gindered up for 2 days straight.. didn't really eat anything.. only drank water.. and figured what the hell.. cuz look at how much work i was getting done.

unfortunately... my heart started to race, i couldn't stop shaking... and since i haven't been taking care of my body that much lately anyway.. i lost a lot of weight. i checked and i'm under 100lbs. how special... so... i decided i had to do something since i was really freaking out. i went to the hospital.. told my mom and she blew up at me and made me leave immediately.

not only am i still in pain... i really must have fucked up... and i can't really eat anything without throwing up... i don't think things with my family will be the same. i mean.. it's completely my fault.. but in a way i figured this would eventually happen.. i just thought that they would be more supportive.

well...even if this is a horrible way to realize it........ i guess i have a problem and i really can't go back and do it again no matter how much it kills me to stop.


// so uhm.. happy birthday to me...