faelyn

Its late, but I cant sleep. I'm upset because my boyfriend has no interest in me and I'm feeling really lonely and ugly because of it. He hardly ever wants to kiss me and I can't even remember how long its been. I could strip in front of him and all he would care about is whether or not I was blocking the TV. He spent all afternoon online looking for a new stero system for his truck; it was the most pasion I've seen in him in weeks. This is no way for a couple to exist. He's upset with me because I get depressed too often, but why wouldn't I be upset, my boyfriend has lost all romantic interst in me. I think he's right that I should try to be happy, but I would be happier if I was found desirable by my lover occasionally. Its really hard to be strong and confident when it seems like there's nothing I can do to be sexy to him. He wanted to break up with me last night and tonight its me whos wondering if its not going to work. What do you get when you mix a depressed girl with an apathetic boy, a f*kd up relationship. I don't want to break up, I love him very much, I just want to be touched and kissed and held and desired, I hadn't thought it would be so much to ask. He's been saying that its a fixable problem and that the ball is in his court now, but he never does anything about it. All I can do is hope and try to not lose my self confidence. I think we are a good couple, its just not easy, but I'd probably get bored if it were too easy. I'm still not tired. I dont want us to break up, I just want a healthy relationship.