Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

faefae

Asheville, NC

Member Since 2005

Followers 333 Following 350

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Monday Feb 04, 2008

Feb 4, 2008
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
My cats are commies and they won't let me sleep.


Not sure how those two are related, but I'm sure they are.

It's probably the total lack of sleep, but, I'm feelin' down today. My server went down (the shell company updated stuff and it fucked up) and there's nothing I can do about it, and I feel like I'm a pushover.

Why is that? Why is it that I'm not more aggressive about the things I want? I'm always so damn worried if I've pissed someone off, or if I'm being naggy. I don't want to be that chick that wants all the attention, but I do want some attention damnit! Meh, I'm probably pms'ing, but I can't help it. I feel ignored. Not by the hubby, mind you, but in general.

It also bothers me that I haven't kept up with my friends. One of them recently came to me with some serious issues, and I'm glad she came to me, but, all these things have happened in her life that I knew nothing about, and it just makes me step back and say to myself "Whoa, you totally haven't been there for her" and that sucks more ass than you know. Talking to her this past week has opened my eyes to how much alike we are. We've had a lot of the same experiences, and honestly, that makes me sad. I hate to know when people have lived a similar life to mine, because my life up until a couple years ago has been absolutely horrible. And now, talking to her, it's almost as if I'm looking back on my own life, as of probably 5 years ago. It seriously makes me want to just fly in and fix everything for her, because I know how much those times hurt, and how you can do almost nothing about it. I can't do that though, and that sucks too. She's being incredibly strong though, and I'm so very proud of her - she's handling it a lot better than I did.

I can still remember the morning I heard the news, the news that's similar to what she's going through (and I won't say what happened to protect her privacy). I spent the rest of the day throwing up and crying and getting as high as I possibly could because I just wanted to be numb to it. A week later, I stopped doing all drugs, which was good for me, but, during that week... my god. I think I went through close to a thousand dollars worth of drugs, which is pretty amazing since I got almost everything for free. I can barely remember anything that happened that week, but I'll always remember the pain of that news.

So now, I'll go back to being invisible, unless one of y'all has a good idea how to not be so invisible but to not be pushy either.

Be kind to each other, kids.






Call me!
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
punknitemike:
you were strong and made it thru it, and she will too! just be there for her!
Feb 4, 2008
aesirr:
It always sucks when you realise you have not been keeping up with your friends. Some of my best friends basically dropped off my radar for nearly three years but now we are back and as happy if not happier together than before.

Hope it all goes ok for her and it doesn't bring back too many painful memories for you.

Big Geoff Hug.
Feb 4, 2008

More Blogs

  • 06.20.10
    0

    Sunday Jun 20, 2010

    Ha Ha Hollygrove shit, im on my Hollygrove shit Lookin for a bad bit…
  • 06.19.10
    4

    Saturday Jun 19, 2010

    life sucks and i want it to be over
  • 06.10.10
    4

    Thursday Jun 10, 2010

    Read More
  • 06.10.10
    1

    Thursday Jun 10, 2010

    going to the zooooooooooo!! going with Cosette!! taking zee c…
  • 05.28.10
    4

    Saturday May 29, 2010

    My face is exploding. I've felt sick for the past few days. I was…
  • 05.17.10
    2

    Monday May 17, 2010

    I'm obsessing over a song "Hey There Delilah" by Plain White T's …
  • 05.06.10
    8

    Thursday May 06, 2010

    So, I haven't been on SG for the past couple of weeks, mainly because…
  • 04.19.10
    11

    Tuesday Apr 20, 2010

    Ok, more of an explainy blog. I am preggos. I'm staying preggos fo…
  • 04.18.10
    15

    Sunday Apr 18, 2010

    I'm pregnant.
  • 04.08.10
    10

    Thursday Apr 08, 2010

    Read More

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
9
months
6
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,593 SuicideGirls
  • 1,120,333 followers
  • 14,919,693 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,389,486 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo