I have the hiccups.
Life has been slow lately, yet has still managed to stress me the fuck out.
All of my bills are paid up. Except my speeding ticket. . . I have eight days to come up with two hundred and fifty dollars. HA!
Why "HA!"? Because the bar took me off the damn schedule because they don't know how to schedule around my other job. I've had the other job for a month now, but suddenly there's a problem. There's more to that story, but I don't feel like putting any of it here.
I got a new puppy. Her name is Claymensa. She's a little brown pitbull, almost a year old. I love her. She sleeps with me, and follows me everywhere. I take her running with me every morning, which is funny, because she's so easily distracted by other people and animals. She wants to be EEEEEEEEEEVERYone's new best friend. It's precious. When I get home from work, she gives me hugs and kisses. She licks my lotion off when I get out of the shower.
There's a big, fat bug on the wall.
Started getting ready for fall semester. God, I can't wait to be done and over with my bacelors' so I can get my masters'. Guh. And then travel the world, writing for the National Geographic. WOO!
I saw a shooting star tonight when I walked outside to check my license plate number.
Question: What are your thoughts on heroes?
on the good side: a hero might be an inspiration, a beacon of courage or strength or determination, to a point.
on the bad side: we human beings are always identifying with things, and nothing is to stop children or grownups from emulating a hero, suddenly thinking the hero has it all figured out, holding ourselves up for comparison to the hero, and no good can come from the comparison, or from abandoning our own judgment.
Heroes are only human, and usually they never asked to be heroes. So for those who are heroes, it's an oppressive experience. Those who get off on being heroes are probably a little sick, a little ego-obsessed. These latter types probably make the same kind of mistake the hero worshipper makes, by allowing his ego to be stroked by someone's imaginary vision of what the hero is.
Because heroes are only human, their flaws can be a shock, can be completely devastating to the hero worshipper.
HEROES ARE FALSE IDOLS, unless you can keep them in the context of just being some interesting, remarkable person who may or may not provide inspiration.
To bad about the fucked up work situation. You will probably continue to see how screwed up people are, how little most people have any clue, how much people all secretly suffer but blame other people. Your manager types are usually clueless to start with, and when they're the type who gets off on playing little games of favoritism or wanting to have their ass kissed, then it really sucks.
At least you're still in school and probably don't have any reason to depend on these goofballs long-term. In the end, I guess, it never helps to depend on anyone, because it gets in the way of our being who we are, and it's a funny position for the person that someone tries to depend on, really kind of oppressive to the person with the obligation. Of course there are those pseudo-martyr types, who enjoy feeling put upon, who enjoy the idea that they're so important and everyone else so clueless, helpless, ungrateful, what have you.
Sometimes I can smell people like this from a distance. That's a benefit of having a dog for a hero, and emulating the dog in a positive way by cultivating a more acute sense of smell. In the right perspective, heroes can be OK.