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eyesquad

Member Since 2003

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Tuesday May 11, 2004

May 11, 2004
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Van Helsing.

This movie reminded me of a guy I knew. He had it all, money, a HUGE house, a beautiful wife who loved him....then he pissed it all away on drugs and hookers. Same thing with this movie. I hated it. I think it blew so much ass that it should have been called Van Salad Tossers. Here's why.

This movie had everything going for it. A huge budget, great cast, superb locals, the backing of Hollycan'tdoafreakingmovierightanymorewood behind it, everything. So how did it bomb bigger than Batman returns. The Director. Steven Sommers. This guy hasn't been too good in the writing department. He wrote some great flops such as Gunmen, Deep rising and Catch me if you can (not the Leonardo De Capricorn one but the unheard of, straight to video and straight to the trash one) He wrote the Screenplay for The Mummy, but not the story. He did write The Mummy Returns but it lacked the luster of the first one. He also wrote The Scorpion King and Van Helsing reflects this.

This guy sure likes his heros, so much so that EVERY character in the movie has their own catch lines. They all have a monumental moment. It was just too much. They tried to develope more characters than the movie needed. Especially the Harvard Professor Frankenstein. I was just let down.

Now let's look at the action. What the hell is going on these days? Ever since they became able to do action sequences with computer animation, action movies have careened wildly downhill. CG has allowed action movies to get completely out out of hand. Action that is just unreal. People doing things that would kill them instantly and then getting up and walking away unharmed. "Cough cough Bullshit"

Now lets go to the things that I did like. The fight at the end. Here is where superior computer animation makes things exciting. This is the Vampire/Werewolf fight that should have happened in Underworld. Awesome fight. CG should not be used unless it's with monsters. Hugh Jackman rocked in this one. He gets better every time I see him.

Other than that, I was bored. Terribly let down and bored. Steven Sommers, I think that you should be smacked with a Herring for pissing all the talent you had working for you away by trying to make every single moment in your movie a monumental moment. You blew it. A great chance to make a movie that would make people say WOW.

I give this one a 4

Wait for video. Or go rent The Scorpion King and pull a Mr Rogers neighborhood. Just pretend its Hugh Jackman in the Roc's role and you got it. Hugh Rocman.
_bossanova_:
Hugh Jackman makes me drool, but mostly when he's Wolverine.wink

You are so right about CG and action movies. I didn't see the first Charlie's Angels, but the second one was so fucking ridiculous, and they completely flaunted it, too. Talk about doing things that would get them killed instantly!mad

I really wanted Van Helsing to be good, because I'm a vampire/horror girl, but I've only heard bad things all around.frown

kisskisskiss
May 12, 2004

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