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eyesquad

Member Since 2003

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Wednesday Mar 10, 2004

Mar 10, 2004
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Woo Hoo. Movie review time.

HIDALGO.

Well, it was long. Good though. This is about long distance rider Frank T Hopkins who died in 1951 and was an oustpoken supporter of the Wild Spanish Mustang. Very interesting character if you read up on him. How was the movie? Let's recap.

Man loves horse.
Man is confused about Indians who love horses.
Indians die. BOOOO!!!!
Man get's hammered, alot.
horse doesn't like man getting hammered.
Man joins circus.
Arabs come bearing threats.
Man gets challenged to 3000 mile race in Arab lands.
Man accepts challenge and the fun begins.

I want to say that I really looked forward to this movie. It took me a little time to get off my tookus to go see it though due to inclement weather, terrorists, aliens....you know the drill.
The movie appealed to me in alot of ways. As you all know, I am not that big of a fan of kids being in movies that aren't kids movies, animals in animal movies that steal the movie away from the actors and love interests in action films. This movie had all 3, BUT BUT BUT they didn't come to fruition. What do I mean? I'll tell you.

There is a child in the movie who looks like he is going to play a big role, doesn't.
The horse, while cool as the first time you and your new love interest make the beast with 2 backs, doesn't get over played. (first time Holycrapwood has got this one right)
And finally, their is a love interest but it never materializes. Right on!!!!

Joe Johnston directed this and though I am sure that he has directed something else, I am too lazy to go find out what. But he did an excellent job of directing the movie and bringing all of these additions to the plot together without forcing them down your throat like lye soap after a cussing binge. One note though, the love interest was a little on the.....hmmm....how to put this nicely......ugly side. Sorry everyone but she just was. Can't beat around that bush. Wouldn't kick her out of bed but i'd bring an extra pillow case.

So I give this one a 7.
smile smile smile for a great story, great camera shots and some really cool horse stunts.
mad for no boobs. You all know how I like the boobs and this boob landscape was barren, except for the preview of "Home on the range" that Disney is putting out where a cows udder comes into the screen and she says "Thei\y're real, why don't you stop staring" or something like that. So they tricked me. Bastards.
frown for the Indians that got killed. Hate that.
whatever for the pretty piss poor swordfights. They really needed a better fight choreographer.
and finally puke for the love interest. "shiver" wooly mammoth.

So go see this one and don't be scared. This sure as hell ain't no Cold Mountain. I would thank Jesus on that one but the Jews killed him in the Passion. Haven't seen that but damm, what a way to piss off the ENTIRE movie making guru's. I guess Mel Gibson missed the point on that one, the point that the Jews own Holyshitwood. Way to go Mel you dumbass.

*Discalimer*
This is in no way a slam or slander against the Jewish people.

Oh and a little Trivia for you all. Do you remember the band X? Well the lead singer is guess who's ex-wife? Vigo Mortenson. Yeap thats right.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
delirium_faerie:
i wanna see that movie.
Mar 13, 2004
_bossanova_:
That is bizarre! Who would have thought he'd have a connection to X?

Heh heh.

kiss
Mar 18, 2004

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