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eyesquad

Member Since 2003

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Monday Jan 26, 2004

Jan 26, 2004
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Ok sometimes I really want to see a movie that I know im going to like and then it sucks. Such was the case with the film I rented last night.

Once upon a time in Mexico.

Gosh this movie had it all. Johnny Depp, Mickey Rourke (one of my all time favorites) and more. So what did it do? Fall flat on it's face.

The movie is the third in the series from famed Mexican director Robert Rodriguez. It is his Matrix so to speak. So like the Matrix, the third one blew like Jenna. It had the cool camera work and the great settings but the story lacked terribly so the whole picture suffered. Sort of like coach Merriweather used to say, "You guys are the best bunch of players in the game, but you lack heart, so you're losers". What a guy. Anyway there are drug lords aloose in Mexico and the FBI, CIA and some other rogue spook outfit is trying to stop them by espionage, terror and anything else they can conjur up. What's new bout that? It goes on everyday down there.

So Johnny Depp is the Equalizer. He puts in a pretty good performance, cause he is so cool. Mickey Rourke is his usual dirty crusty drug dealer. He does these so well that he may be one in real life. How cool. Love that Mickey. Other than that Willem Dafoe, whom I think rocks when he's not playing gay cops or drug lords, is also pretty good. So what happened? I'll tell you, the story couldn't hold it. I think that Mr Rodriguez needs to rethink his movie making procedures. The action was way over the top. I don't know about you but I like to think that what they are doing could in some way, on a remote level happen in real life. Not the case here. The plot crap, some characters were just put in there to fill time and the rest just passed. I actually turned this one off halfway through. That is rare for me. I felt the familiar bad movie rumblings, you know the ones that strand you on the toilet for 30 minutes at a stretch. Better take a good book with you for this one. Make sure there's an extra role too. Don't want to have to call the cavalry to come save you.

All in all I gave this one a 4. Why a 4 if it sucked soooo bad? Because the Hellboy trailer is in front of this one. That trailer rocked so hard maybe it just jaded me on the movie. Doubt it. But we can dare to dream.

1 puke for the story
1 puke for the story again.
and 2 eeek for Hellboy. Go Hellboy.

Rent this one for one reason if you must rent it. The Hellboy preview. If you can't find it online and that would be terribly hard, get it, but turn the player off after that preview because if you don't then its to the porcelain throne for you. Don't say I didn't warn you.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
_bossanova_:
The only justification I can imagine for seeing that movie is Salma Hayek and her boobs. Yum! Did she bare anything in this movie?

kiss
Jan 27, 2004
llona:
hooray! you'll be here.
xoxo
Jan 27, 2004

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