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eyesquad

Member Since 2003

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Monday Oct 13, 2003

Oct 13, 2003
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Ok 2 more movies for you. One to go see and one to stay as far away from as humanly possible.

#1. This movie is for Llona. Chick Flick. WOOT!! Under the Tuscan sun.
My oh my, I got drug to this movie like any good man would allow him to be. I wasn't thinking that I was going to like this but I gave it a fair shot. I am a man, so I can say that I was wrong. This was a pretty darn good movie. Basically a woman gets screwed over pretty bad and decides to go on a trip. She really didn't want to go but got talked into it. Can't tell you about the trip cause thats a pleasant suprise. But just think about my last movie reviews and what they had in common and you'll get it. So she goes and buys a house. Fixes it up and finds happiness. Thats pretty much it. But it's the way that she finds it and the things that happen that make this movie well worth watching. I will have to give it a 7 though. There were alot of cliches in this one. But the flowed pretty well. A little long for a love/finding happiness film but it worked. Girls, go see this one. Guys, go with your girls to see this one. Especially after a bad day. You won't be dissappointed.

#2 House of the Dead.
This was one, if not the worst freaking piece of celluloid crapola that I have ever seen in my life. I wanted to puke halfway into it but I would have sprayed the person in front of me and flying vomit in a stadium seating theatre is not a good thing. The makers of this film did one thing right inthis film. They put boobs in the first 10 mins of the film. This is the trap folks. THey sucker you in with a decent pair and then you want to stay until the end to see if the really fine ones get naked too. It's a trap and the ol Squadernator fell right into it. This piece of ofal stunk from the start to the crappy finish. This movie is based on a video game. Now not only does the movie stink but I think the game will stink as well. Horrid acting, special effects, camera techniques, acting, costumes, acting, lighting, acting, acting, acting. EVERYTHING stunk about this movie. I mean freaking everything. Go see this at your own risk. You might feel like a Zombie afterwards. Just remember one thing. When the zombies are ringed around the little house that you are in and they want to eat your intestines, what do you do? I suggest making out and then blowing the doors off your only little hiding place. Then attack the zombies hand to hand so that you die right away.

Thats how we do it in the ATL.. BIZZATCH ARRR!!!
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
delirium_faerie:
i actually wanted to go see under the tuscan sun. never got around to it though. now i'll have to. or rent it probably since i don't get to see movies like i used to.

dear god, house of the dead. i knew that would be horrible the first time i saw the preview. glad i didn't waste money on that one.
Oct 14, 2003
wren:
House of the Dead sucked?! Damn. No good horror movies these days. I want to see the remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre just because I love the old one so much. I LOATHE Jessica Biel, but they used the crazy opening shot sound in the ads (is that a violin or what?), so...that means it has some promise, as far as I'm concerned.
Oct 14, 2003

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