i got home from work this morning and fell into my bed and im just waking up now....a whole day of nothing but beautiful sleep....i feel better...physically anyway...
i fell in love with jason and i shouldnt have...he doesnt feel the same way for me....he just wants someone to hangout with occassionally and to fuck...normally this wouldnt bother me at all...in fact i welcome relationships like that.....but i feel like i was mislead....his kisses were lies i bit into with more passion than ever before....the looks he gave were also falacies that blurred my vision.....i guess i just expected too much....i mean he's 25 and still at 7eleven, goes to the bar like its his religion and apparently has no plans of changing this routine anytime soon.....nevermind...i feel awful badmouthing him on here....im coming off like a bitter person and like hes a complete asshole....neither of which are true....oh well life will move on...it always does....i guess i just wish it would move on without me sometimes....
october 30th will mark my 100th day of being clean...its so odd....seeing the world through sober eyes.....i was so use to having all those vices to keep me together(at least that was what i thought at the time), and now i just smoke my marlboro reds and occassionally drink my vodka and im actually getting by...i never thought i would last this long being clean....i dont think anyone else thought i would either....
some punk rock boy asked for my phone number last night when i went out to eat with my friend jon....ha his name is jason too...i know too many of them....he seems like a nice boy....and he called me today...it was odd because boys never ask for my number....only girls do....
even with all the sleep i got today....i still want more...so at 11:37 pm....im calling it a night...sweet dreams and take care....xoxo....
i fell in love with jason and i shouldnt have...he doesnt feel the same way for me....he just wants someone to hangout with occassionally and to fuck...normally this wouldnt bother me at all...in fact i welcome relationships like that.....but i feel like i was mislead....his kisses were lies i bit into with more passion than ever before....the looks he gave were also falacies that blurred my vision.....i guess i just expected too much....i mean he's 25 and still at 7eleven, goes to the bar like its his religion and apparently has no plans of changing this routine anytime soon.....nevermind...i feel awful badmouthing him on here....im coming off like a bitter person and like hes a complete asshole....neither of which are true....oh well life will move on...it always does....i guess i just wish it would move on without me sometimes....
october 30th will mark my 100th day of being clean...its so odd....seeing the world through sober eyes.....i was so use to having all those vices to keep me together(at least that was what i thought at the time), and now i just smoke my marlboro reds and occassionally drink my vodka and im actually getting by...i never thought i would last this long being clean....i dont think anyone else thought i would either....
some punk rock boy asked for my phone number last night when i went out to eat with my friend jon....ha his name is jason too...i know too many of them....he seems like a nice boy....and he called me today...it was odd because boys never ask for my number....only girls do....
even with all the sleep i got today....i still want more...so at 11:37 pm....im calling it a night...sweet dreams and take care....xoxo....
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
quijybo:
do you have braid extensions? i saw some girl that resembled you on the bus the other day. 
joscelyne:
I'm just wondering how you are doing lately...